Re: Trauma, shame-core beliefs, and recovery (EDITED)

Tigerlily, I'm so glad that you've posted back, and I want to share something with you that might help with the anxiety of digging in the dirt. 

I was also VERY terrified of releasing "feelings."  Just like you, I was required to bury them deep and pretend.  Now, this may read as glib or ridiculous, but it's 100% true:  when my therapist began discussing bringing up "feelings" and processing them, I was certain that feeling the sadness, the fear, the loneliness, the neglect, the abuse, and everything else would kill me.  I truly believed that.  Nobody could relive those "feelings" that were SO painful without dying from it. 

But, the truth is that you are being guided by someone who is knowledgeable and trained to walk alongside you as you begin moving down your individual Healing Path.  Your therapist is not going to dredge EVERYTHING up and let you loose.  It will be a long, slow, and emotional process, but it will be SAFE.  SAFE............you are SAFE.

Again, thank you for posting back and my most sincere healing blessings to you.