Re: woman discovered dead after 18 months

Well.. you are right, on somethings... It may suprise you that I married for love.. but shortly after I married, I discovered that my husband has a very dark secret... and that gravely affects our marriage. He has been extremely willing to seek counseling about it.. and has spent years in counseling.. drug therapies.. everything.. and nothing has changed. I can't fault him for it, because it wasn't his fault.. and he has tried everything he can to make it better... and I promised that I would stay with him as long as he was trying to get better...

And, yes.. money does come into play. I am certainly capable of supporting myself.. but I have a very, very ill brother, who is only 43.. and in a nursing home.. and thanks to my husbands salary, he is able to receive much better care than the state would be able to provide him.. so, even if I would break my promise to my husband... my brother's needs out weigh my own..

The worst of my grievences.. is the lack of relationships in my life... but I find that I never feel like I have a close intimate relationship with other women due to the fact that I have to keep such an important/devastating part of my marriage secret to them.. and because of that..I always have this big wall up around me, that is impenatrable.. and I guard myself to try not to reveal any clues to what is really going on with me.. and because of that.. there is an enormous lack of intimacy with my relationships with other people.. so, more often than not, either they, or I move on...

thanks for your help..