Re: woman discovered dead after 18 months

wow, Mr. Cuddly.. I really like your message. And it does make sense... "pain is there to force you to make major changes".. that makes complete sense..

But my problem is, the reason I'm in this mess is because I did make radical changes... I moved to a different state... completely changed careers... gave up single life to get married.. put myself out there many many times... and everytime I've taken a risk to change my life.. to make it better, I've become more and more miserable, and life got much much worse... . Now I am at a point where I believe, in my own life.. "change equals more pain"... so, I tried so incredibly hard to keep things the same...so that I don't take on any more pain, which just may lead to my taking my own life.. to the point that I am obsessive compulsive about it. and when something changes... I first completely panic.. then struggle to put things in a new order as fast as I can... and this is with small changes.

I don't know if I could survive through a big change, like moving to a new country. (not an option anyway, as my parents need me, and my help with my terminally ill brother.. )

So, I guess, since I am unable to handle major changes... that means I'm stuck in pain for the rest of my life? what other insight can you give me?