Re: Not Now. It's soooooo true, Corey.

Great post!
This (health) is a huge part of it, perhaps the biggest.

But, from my observations, a large part of it also comes from being overworked and underappreciated. I think some of what you describe is the woman consiously or subconsciously putting up a barrier to a man she feels does not care about her. I am actually glad that I am getting older and have less men interested in me in that way, because I know that is ALL they care about, not me as a person, a fellow human being.

It's hard to feel that way when when you are not treated as an equal partner, when things have to be HIS way. How can you respect someone who does not respect you?

It's hard to feel that way when you wait on him, and he doesn't do the same for you.

It's hard to feel that way when he looks at other women, and shows disrespect for you and them.

It's hard to feel that way when your partner puts everything before you and you come last: himself, work, his family, hobbies, toys, etc. Seriously, I have had bfs put boats, golf, cars and toy planes before me, even alcohol, and then they wonder why you don't want to. Every free moment was for flying toy planes with his friends, and I was expected to stand there and watch the utter childish waste of time without complaint. These are grown men who should be spending quality time with their wives and kids and helping around the house! I dated one that had a junk car, which I didn't matter to me at all, but when he got a new one, he made a big point of me not scratching it. He washed it three times a week. If he had put that effort and care into our relationship, he would not have to worry about lack of intimacy. If your car means more than I do, then sleep with it!

It's hard to feel that way when you do the lawn and the cooking and cleaning while he watches tv. It's more like a mommie/child relationship. If I am doing your share and mine, then my job is done.

It's hard to feel that way when he makes a big deal out of any small thing he does for you. One of my exes made a big deal because he took me to the doctor, once. For years I was reminded of that, but he conveniently forgot the hundreds of times I cooked dinner and did his dishes.

Basically, sex is a sacred thing, and if the circumstances are not right, it is just the man using the woman, and it's degrading and soul killing. Tweet