Re: Chronic health issue has me contemplating suicide

If you are contemplating suicide, then whatever trouble you said that you overcame, was not real overcoming but just another illusion. And illusions are dangerous. Overcoming makes one stronger, not weaker. Contemplating suicide is a sign of weakness.

Your negative thoughts are effects of whatever infection you have. They are not "you". So don't follow up on something that is not "you". It's like doing something stupid while on drugs and then regretting it later.

Accept the fact that you are not omni-potent, and that bad things do happen to us. Then observe your problems, try to find out their causes and then deal with them the best that you can.

Personally, I think you contracted more then one type of parasite (if you have a fungal infection too, it is not surprising but probably not the root cause). Your drinking the day earlier weakened your immune system, and left it open to who knows what. Sushi almost always has some parasites, as does most of the restaurant food, especially if you live in a warmer climate area (like Texas, Florida, California, New Mexico etc).

I would start with a GI profile test at
http://www.metametrix.com
and see what they come up with. Genova labs is another place although for parasites they are less reliable. Then if they find any parasites (they'll probably find protozoa) come to parasites forum. (if your MD doesn't cooperate, find a new one, and keep changing them until you find a good one)

BTW, you need to stop taking any alcohol for the rest of your life, except for an occasional glass of red wine. Or better yet - stay away from it all together.

There is more to life then you thought, and you are learning about that as you go. As a matter of fact, suicidal thoughts and dreams of dying, are often symbols of our own outgrowing of our old selves. Same as a child outgrowing his clothes, you are outgrowing your ego.

In your quest for health you are just learning that maybe your value system was a little "off". What did you value the most before June 6? What do you value the most now? See anything different? That's the begining of humbleness. Nothing happens by accident; wise people know this very well. Choose wisdom. Use this situation, your inteligence and humbleness to gain wisdom. Then you will never want the clock to turn back to before June 6. Tweet