Re: Chronic health issue

Good morning, John,

I very much like that you admit to some cockiness. Good for you! You do have reason, and the humility to admit to a mistake. That may be your saving grace...the asset that will pull you through.


I think you've got a good dose of reality...alcohol poisoning.

You are lucky it didn't kill you.

And I don't doubt for one minute that you'll never be able to drink it again without sickening yourself, perhaps much worse than these past few months.


Why were you drinking at all?


Who are these 'Irish' you were trying to keep up with? Are they connected to your school life?


The exuberance of youth (raging hormones and a sense of invincibility) has led you down the garden path, made you believe you can do anything...like stay up all night, every night...eat anything, especially stimulants...occupy yourself with time-wasting video games, no, one video game...and still think you can do schoolwork and become a lawyer.

Nope!

You can't.

Now you must choose...just like all the rest of us.


You say you have been doing all this since you were 15? ...Six years? ...Not only six years, but six of the most important formative years of your life? ...And anti- Depression meds before that?

Gad, you are strong!!!

Now let's see if you are strong enough to turn this around!


First, who is taking care of you?

No...FIRST...what are you thinking?

Within a few short months you have seen a complete turnaround in your thinking/feeling. You know for a fact that can be done, and YOU can do it.

A complete change for the worse is exactly the same as a complete change for the better...the only difference is the end result you achieve...sickness or health.

And it IS your choice...yours alone.


Every thought you think is a command that your inner person MUST believe, and serve.

You think you want to return to the social life you thought you were joining? Bingo! That's what your body is trying to do! Keep you alive with the sole goal of doing it all over again!

I know, you think you will be more moderate, a 'social' drinker, etc. But you have just PROVEN that you can't handle it. It was this 'social' notion that led you to sickness!

Think again!

You don't LIKE this cleansing illness, remember?!

And this is just a SAMPLE of what lies ahead if you try to return to 'social' drinking, and the 'high' life. There is no 'middle' or 'moderate' path for you.


Don't believe me?

Join Alcoholics Anonymous, and ask others who have been through it.

Take a few copies of your story, and pass them to folks who are kind enough to help. Give them each a highlighter pen, and ask them to mark the symptoms they have experienced, themselves.

Leave your cockiness at home that day. Only your humility will do you any good. Ask alcoholics if you are one...a person so sensitive, so tender-hearted, that ANY amount of alcohol will set them to binging.


I knew a couple where the man was very kind, very 'social', a hard worker, a loving father, and an alcoholic.

His wife tried to bear it, even joining him in his bar life while neglecting the needs of her children, for a while.

Then one day the husband came home to find his wife in the living room, taking down the curtains. Her bags were packed and standing in the middle of the room.

Immediately the man protested...he would change, he would beat this...please, please, please don't leave me! (All of which she had heard before, of course.)

So, she didn't. But those suitcases sat in the middle of the living room for three months.

Somehow they moved back to the small town he had grown up in.

One day a friend saw Jim kind of hiding behind a telephone pole. The friend asked him what he was doing.

This is the conversation as Jim told it to me...

Jim: "Well, I didn't want people to see me going to an AA meeting."

Friend: "You didn't mind when people saw you falling down drunk!"

Pause.

Jim: "You're right!"

And he never hid his membership in AA again. In fact, he became a true help to many others...not just alcoholics. He was proud of his accomplishment, but always quite quiet about it. He knew how easy it was to drift into illness.

Which isn't to say that getting out of it was easy for Jim.

He told me of one night he took a shotgun down to the river...and how he stood there, where he had been a boy, for a long, long time. ...And decided NOT to. He would face healing, however hard it got, and see if he could do that, instead.

Later, if it got too difficult, if he really couldn't change, there was always the easy way out.

I felt privileged when Jim told me his story. He was sharing how he saved his own life. He told it to others, too...to help them.

I'm sure Jim would be glad that I am passing his story on. He died a few years ago, after enjoying a much longer life than he had once expected.

I also had the privilege of hearing his wife's side of the story. Her one outstanding comment that I will never forget was, "Sensitive? The bars are full of sensitive people! That's why they are there!"


I think what you need is a rest...a LOT of rest...and rest from all the things that have been sapping and taxing your energy for six, and more, years.

I think you need to enfold and pamper John...treat him with the greatest respect and kindness...listen to his real needs, the ones he hears from within.

John is one smart cookie...and attractive. He states his case clearly and honestly. People feel they can relate to him...they like him. And John has a glowing future ahead. He knows it, too...else he'd never have come here to ask questions.


Now we come to the SECOND question...who has been taking care of you?

Who has been nurturing you, feeding you well, enfolding you, and providing the steadiness that allowed you to go out and explore the world and study?

Immediately, thank them...even if you have thanked them before, do it again. Reward them.

And thank the ones online who kept you interested, entertained, and thoughtful. (Blanket the lot, thank everyone as a group...so you don't leave anyone out.)


Then, pull together your team of supporters...the ones you'll need to heal yourself, and plan for your happy future.


...Realizing, of course, that the two groups, supporters and nurturers from the past and those who will help you heal from this day forward, may not contain any of the same people.


Healing is your job, with appropriate supporters a close second.

Now you get to enjoy the adventure of true adulthood and self-determination...saving and guiding your own life.

However, as many healthy adults will tell you, the journey is neither easy nor brief. But it is oh so worth the effort!


Think of this...

Think of the eyes and unconditional love and respect of your children you have so carefully and gently raised. They will adore you, and appreciate your wisdom. They will be born that way. And think of their children, your grandbabies.


Jerry Lewis once put a gun in his mouth, you know. He was sick from a certain pill he was addicted to.

Locked in his office, he heard his children running down the hall, and he couldn't use his gun.

That was the beginning of the rest of his life.


This is the beginning of the rest of yours.

You'll do just fine, John. Trust yourself...you are smarter than you think.

And laugh a lot...laughter is healing...and a lot more fun than anything else you can think of.

My very, very best.

Fledgling



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