Re: See your friend as the best they can be

Hi, Beth

I hope you and Maya don't mind me stepping in to share my perspective. :)

"Can I just listen and stay attached while being detached? Is that possible? "
Yes, this is totally possible. This happens with detached listening. My husband is great at this. At present we do have people share their woes with us, both from work and personally. We validate what they say, basically just repeating back to them what they say to us. It helps them feel heard...because in fact all they're really wanting is someone to hear them....because deep down they may not be validating themselves, they're not giving themselves permission to feel what they feel, and so they may be stuck in not finding a solution because they can't even get past the negative feeling. And so it's a revolving cycle of reinforcing the negative. Once we allow the resistance i.e. negativity, to be, without placing conditions on it, it will go on its own.

Example:
Friend: "I feel so crappy today."
You: "Oh, you feel crappy"
Friend: "Yeah, I was late to work, some idiot almost hit me driving to work...I'm just in a bad mood"
You: "Yeah, I would imagine you feel stressed with your day starting like that"
Friend: "Yeah, I'm just starting my day and I'm already in a crappy mood"
You: "It sounds like you feel really stressed. What could you do to get things off your mind and clear your head?"
Friend: "Yeah, I think I'll take a walk through the building real quick and see if that will help me calm me down."

Of course this is simplified and cut and dry. What we find, though, is that usually there is a natural progression of the conversation. Usually, the person will move on out of the negativity. In cases when they don't, you will find a point when you feel you need to move on and you will. It usually ends up being more of a subtle departure.

This is really a layered situation. Since you are evolving, you may very well lose friends if they don't match your newer vibrations. But if you keep attracting negativity, and it really bothers you at an emotional level, then that may reflect there is something in yourself that is being resisted.

Some good contemplative questions to ask of yourself are: Are you validating yourself? Are you giving yourself permission for your negative emotions while still keeping your eye on the prize? Are you resisting your own negative feelings?

Because I don't think the point of conscious LOA is denial of the negative. If the negative 'is' then it already 'is', we can only work with it consciously, IF we choose to. We can use LOA to balance this as well. If so, the contrast now gives us desires. We want to validate ourselves. We want to be detached from our negativity by not taking it personally. We want to allow what is (and sometimes there is 'negativity') and keep creating consciously. We want positive, constructive relationships that support our growth. But this supportive relationship would be well rooted within ourselves before it can manifest in reality.

It helps me to realize that there are actually several components, and then layers within them, to Abraham's main messages: Make peace with where you are, know what you desire, close the emotional gap from where you are to what you want. It seems like you ARE doing all that and already following the path of conscious creation.

Love
Lori Tweet