Re: ms.right..ms.RIGHT NOW...

thanks for your advise.

but heartache and pain is merely the tip of the ice berg lol.there are many many many issues and events that took place to really turn the knife in my heart that has made me the way that I am today..everything from being backstabbed,ridiculed,abandoned and ignored..unloved,beaten and bruised.I have led a pretty rough path,only myself to blame and only myself to pull myself out of it..I chose the path myself in my younger years so I have only myself to blame.drugs,gangs,guns,booze,death,sex and a host of illegal activities checkers my history..along with those not so pleasant times came not so pleasant consequences..I know the past is the past but the scars they left don't heal so quickly ,even if they aren't in my conscious awareness.

I don't think I am the only one that has pain,I know everyone else has their own story..it just doesn't concern me too terribly because I have my own problems to deal
with lol.

I have learned to cultivate,use and be thankful for my anger..compartmentalize it..
when I need it most,it's there..my secret friend,my back up,the only one there to really have my back when I need it most.I am not shameful or guilty about it,because when the shit hits the fan and you absolutely positively no other choice 'have to' kick someones ass..be thankful that you are angry and pissed off rather then sad or regretful.

I am putting emotional relationships on hold,but there are some nights,some days ,sometimes where all I want is a warm body in my bed and someone to touch,kiss and fondle..I don't care what anyone says lol.It beats being lonely during those and it beats having to pretend like I have emotions or care about them when all I want is a little company and quality physical connection.

(:
just my $.02...


oh and yes,I can be a selfish bastard ..but I do have my ways of paying back with
good deeds.