Re: ms.right..ms.RIGHT NOW...

(abstract concepts)

Whatever your ambitions for your life, right now it might be a good idea to call a "time out" and get to understand yourself better so you learn not to be hard on yourself instead of pursuing a repeat of your past (your past has not completely satisfied you).

Whenever someone thinks of old people as "old farts", they will also tend to have a bad outlook on their own life (your view of other people [in general/society] determines your view of yourself in general,...MIRROR). Since you feel that as you get older, all you can look forward to is becoming an "old fart", I'm not surprised at your disappointment/lack of enthusiasm. If you are living to satisfy your "wanker"--DITTO! (how can you have warmth in your heart?).

Did you ever consider that you might be a warm, warm, warm person? (sensitive to GENUINE love, profound in heart) and the PHYSICAL intimacy that you were taught to chase isn't fulfilling your sense of EMOTIONAL intimacy.

What is your idea of true love? The common understanding of "love" is that it is AN emotion (one of many), but you might have a deeper meaning that...love is a SENTIMENT and genuine (actually the only REAL sentiment, the opposite of love..."hate" is actually egotistical resentment, it's not a real GENUINE sentiment all by itself).

Your past experiences and relationships (friendships, family, etc.) haven't satisfied your yearning for the sentiment of love. When you offer the SENTIMENT of love and only get the EMOTION in return, that is unrequited love TO YOU.

"Love and hate seem to be strongly intertwined in me"
This love/hate feeling is that...
1) you know what is "GOOD"
and by contrast,
2) you also know what is BAD.

You are OBJECTIVE (see things as they really are), but when people try to sugarcoat something (disguise it as "good", SUBJECTIVE explanation), you are bothered by this (dislike/hate) that because you are just/fair.


These are abstract concepts, you will understand them also when you become what you now think of as an "old fart" (try to have a better view of life).
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