Re: Why Is There So Much Anger?

Trapper,

First, anger is pure energy. If it is allowed to move as it arises, spontaneously, it can be a marvelous display to observe, very vibrant… alive. It can have a beauty of its own, as it is expressed in any small child throwing a tantrum (before he has been taught to control such things though repression).

It only becomes ugly when it is prevented from being expressed as it arises. When it is controlled or prevented from being expressed, that is when the energy becomes perverted. It then can become a destructive force within oneself and to others.

Wanting something, or not wanting something is a desiring mind. Wanting not to have hurt feelings, is also a desire. Expecting to not have hurt feelings will, no doubt, lead one to being angry at some time or other.

If hurt feelings are there, they are there because one is dependent on the opinion of others to feel good. Not feeling good because of what someone else thinks about you also is a part of the bargain. The two come together. Having hurt feeling because of what another thinks about you, this, itself is a symptom that one is not totally accepting of oneself. This is setting oneself up to become a victim.

To use anger towards someone else for the non-acceptance of oneself, is a move into fighting with shadows. The other appears threatening because one misunderstands that he himself is the cause of his own hurt feelings. Unwillingness to look to see that this is the case... and the situation will remain, anger will continue to come, and one will remain being a victim. To jump out of this endless cycle, one needs to be aware and willing to be open to the possibility that he is causing this himself. It may not be easy but it is a necessary lesson for growth of consciousness.

One has an idea, an opinion of oneself. And if one is dependent on others to feel good about himself, and the opposite opinion comes from the other, the expectation of being accepted by others, and by oneself, is not met. Anger will come. The way out of victimization is becoming more loving of oneself. Not lashing out to the other. Lashing outwardly will keep one in the dark, fighting with the shadows that one self-creates.

If one feels that expressing sadness (as seen by others) is a sign of weakness, then one, again, is not accepting this part of oneself. This is a subtle condemnation of one’s self, leading into repression of this emotion.
This is masochistic behavior which is an unloving attitude towards oneself. All repression of emotions is a non-acceptance of oneself, one is not allowing himself to be who he is. This is an unloving attitude and one will accumulate anger.

Any repression of emotions will result in anger becoming accumulated. One can allow this to become a habit. If the root cause of this accumulation of anger is not seen, the accumulation will continue until one is sort of sitting on a volcano. The slightest scratch of the skin, i.e. a comment from another, and out comes the lava of anger that has long been in need of expression.
One becomes more and more filled with anger to the point he will start to project anger onto others where no anger exists. The world can look as though it is a very angry place because one is looking through eyes that are filled with anger.

If someone expresses hostility, then know well that this person is, in some way, not feeling well about himself.
Understand that such individuals are not well, and this is the reason why they are here, searching to feel better.
Venting anger in writing can be a form of therapy.
But showering there hostilities onto others would be deemed not good therapy for those that read such things. It is analogous to a person that has a contagious disease coughing in an enclosed space that is filled with others. The possibility is that the dis-ease will spread, as it is exposed to the others in close proximity.

Yes, the display of anger can be a good communication device... however, One can display a show of anger without being full of anger... again, understanding of the mechanism will allow anger to become a tool for one to use. And not for one to become used by the anger.
But you are right, displaying anger in return will generally cause the situation to escalate.

Anger and hostility are both rooted in fear... the fear that comes with feeling unable to be oneself... of not having enough.
Love is the only cure. It cannot come from someone else. Someone else may help one to see the love that lay within himself. As a catalyst agent -may help one see that a different way of being can exist, i.e., having a similar loving-ness may also be possible for them, too. But loving oneself is the key. Loving oneself is being able to sit alone, totally relaxing into oneself, without feeling lonely for the other.

Loving oneself is the very first step that need be taken before one can even consider loving another. When one comes to this point then one will not have a need to control his emotions, he will not repress his emotions as they come up.
If tears are there, they will be allowed, if anger is there it will be allowed. One totally accepts himself.

When one is finished with being angry, that is when compassion is possible. But one has to go through anger, not to try to avoid anger... not by repressing anger... not by controlling it.
Then, out of the mud, the lotus blossom will bloom... as it has always been.

Best regards