Thank you. I have always enjoyed your posts and wish the best for you. I don't read posts that look ugly, so I have a positively biased opinion of you ;) You have contributed a tremendous amount to CZ.
I pray for your situation to improve. Please don't think about death. I am from MS - your "neighbor" at one point :) I felt like the place I came from was unhealthy, and I won't go back to live there. Mostly emotionally unhealthy, most likely.
If you disappear from CZ with no warning, we're all going to think the worst!
Sometimes I wonder how I will know if any of you die.