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Friday the 13th
Continuation of bliss, discontinuation of social outings
Date: 6/15/2007 10:50:23 AM ( 17 y ) ... viewed 1670 times The blissful feeling has been lasting. I find that I am much more relaxed and calm. I don't drive as fast or as agressively, and I don't get irritated as easily. I've just slowed down and started noticing a lot more of what is going on around me. The heightened sense have made me notice all smells and appreciate them (well, the good ones, anyway!), and I've been taking more notice of people in general - their moods, etc., what might be going on in their heads. In a way, it kind of feels like being on Xanax. Just a nice, mellow, relaxed feeling. Even the music I've been listening to is more mellow, which is significant as I've always mainly been a hard rock kinda chick.
I've turned down 2 social outings this week. My boyfriend was going to a baseball game with a few friends after work and wanted me to come. I have noticed that the fast has made me want to withdraw into myself more, away from crowds of people and a lot of noise. So the idea itself did not appeal to me. And I knew that I wouldn't be allowed to take any outside beverages in, so that would mean going without my lemonade for quite a few hours, which I didn't think would be a good idea, or one that I wanted to entertain. Instead I had a nice night to myself, and the game ended up going until pretty late.
Yesterday was my boyfriend's brother's birthday, and his whole family was going out to dinner. For sushi, no less, which I adore. He really wanted me to go, but I could not imagine sitting there, watching everyone else eat sushi when I could only have water. I just felt like it would make me miserable. And I'm not very chatty, so I really would pretty much just be sitting there. Not only that, but everyone would want to know why I wasn't eating. His family has known me for a while now, but I don't want them to think of me as that crazy chick that doesn't eat. In the end, my boyfriend understood and was supportive. He said he didn't want me to do it just for him, which is the only reason I would have. The thing is, I associate restaurants with eating, and that's about it. Food is the main focus. If I'm eating, I'm not really talking. And if I'm at a restaurant and can't eat, I don't really know what I'd do with myself. If it was just me and the b/f, I think I'd be fine. He knows all about the fast and supports me, and I'm more talkative when it's just him and I.
The thing is, I do miss food. Honestly, I miss it a lot. Sometimes it's difficult to watch people eat, and sometimes it's not. I have been feeling really good on the fast, but I'm afraid that when it ends it is going to be about Live to Eat, instead of the other way around, because I have been feeling deprived. Which I think is a bit of a dangerous situation. I suffered with a bout of compulsive overeating once in the past, and it was my juice fast that really nixed it. I don't remember feeling as deprived during the juice fast, but then again, I think I only did it for about a week. I'm trying to keep all of the beneficial aspects of the fast in mind, and trying to stop focusing so much on the food that I can't eat. I just tell myself that I will eat again, that food will always be there, no matter what. So I'm not really missing out on anything.
I realized that I was making the lemonades with the wrong proportion of water. I was confused when Burroughs said "10 oz glass". I thought it meant 10 oz of water, not realizing that the maple syrup and lemon juice make up the other 2 oz. So yesterday I started making up my jug o'lemonade with 64 oz of water, 1 cup of lemon juice, and 3/4 cup of maple syrup, for 8 servings. I emptied my cayenne capsules into a small container and started adding it fresh to each glass of lemonade. The more concentrated lemon/maple flavor has made it easier for me to tolerate more cayenne, so I've been putting in 1/4 tsp. per glass.
I'm still getting "mud" out of my system every morning before the SWF washes through. My tongue has only been coated right in the middle since about Day 3. That correlates to the stomach and small intestine, which I kind of figured. My dad has IBS, and for the past year or 2, I've been thinking that I may have it also. It seems like I almost constantly have stomach and/or elimination issues. About a year ago I started taking Greens + and that seemed to help quite a bit. There were times that I felt like I needed to have a BM, but only mucus would come out, which kind of freaked me out. Once I started taking Greens +, I stopped passing the mucus. So I'm hoping that the MC will help with my stomach issues.
I thought that I would save a lot of money this month by not buying any food, but I gotta tell you, doing the MC for any extended period of time is NOT cheap! I gave up on buying organic lemons because it was just getting too expensive. Even regular lemons are kind of up there in price - 2/$1.50. Limes are not as bad, they are usually 4 or 6 for a dollar. It takes me 3 limes and either 2 or 3 lemons to make 8 servings of lemonade a day. A quart of maple syrup is almost $15 at Whole Foods, and I'm about to start my third one. I know that you cannot put a price on health, and I guess overall I have saved money since I've not gone out to eat at all, just not as much as I thought I would!
Overall, I'm doing well. I am going to promise my dad a belated dinner date for Father's Day.
I'm moving into the home stretch - just about one more week to go!
Hope you are all doing well!
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