Day 1 of Water Fast- Another failure by Sacristia Blog entry

Blog: My Health Journey
by Sacristia

Day 1 of Water Fast- Another failure

My daily Journey to a healthier life style

Date: 3/10/2011 2:32:54 PM ( 13 y ) ... viewed 1814 times

March 7, 2011

I have noticed that my urine has been a bit cloudy off and on since around February. At first I thought I might have a urine tract infection, but it never hurt to pee, but I drank a whole container of cranberry juice just in case. I wasn't happy about it, since it wasn't the low sugar kind and I hated putting so much sugar in my system.

When I thought I might just have a bit of a yeast infection or something since it did show up after my last monthly cycle

I did some research about Phosphates that can cause cloudy urine. There is a trick to find out if it is phosphates by putting a drop of vinegar in the urine. If it clears up, it is phosphates, but I don't think that is what it is. I think I might have a bit of discharge, which might mean I have a yeast infection. I have only had one in my life and I didn't even know I had it. I was be examined for my coloposcopy when I was told by the doctor. They couldn't continue with the procedure, because of it. I guess I am curious what it is, because I just want to make sure that my kidneys are in good working order. I don't want that cloudiness from from my bladder or my kidneys.

The morning was a rush, and I had planned to water fast, but around lunch time I was so darn hungry. I went to Baires and had a lovely healthy chef salad with out meat. I truly love their salads! They are a work of art as well as delicious for the tummy. Once I was fed and watered, the day went better then it was. I can't say that I was focused on eating, but it was hard to work, because my body was telling me that I needed food. And that is always distracting while one is trying to work.

To keep myself busy, I didn't go straight home, but went to goodwill and did some window shopping. It has always worked before to keep myself busy and I off the thought of eating. I looked at clothes and imagined a couple outfits that I could buy once I lost a bit more weight. I even thought I could go out and buy a new bathing suit, when the swimming season started. I was looking hopeful to see a flat-like tummy to show off, if that was possible. I watched a couple people and talked to a clerk before I left. I ended up spending a hour in Goodwill and another hour in Odd Lots, just looking at things.

As I was going to my car, I noticed several couples walking together and my mind quickly when to Phil. I wondered what he might be doing. Then I thought about the situation that happened on Saturday night which made him very upset with me. And the heartache started all over again.

One the way home, I was cruising the radio station, as I didn't really feel like listen to a Christian station at the moment, but after a while, I left it on KLOVE, as I usually do. There was this new song I wasn't familiar with, but it kind of spoke to me. I listened to the rest of it to find what the name of it was.

It was called Search My Heart by Hillsong United.

Here are the lyrics:

Search my heart and search my soul.
There’s nothing else that I want more.
Shine Your light and show Your face.
In my life Lord have Your way.
Hear my cry and hear my prayer.
Draw me close I know You’re near.
Give me strength and give me grace.
To walk with You Lord all my days.
So with all my heart and all my soul.
With all I am. Lord I will follow You.
You took the cross.
You took my shame.
Restored my life.
Now I live to worship You.

And with all my heart and all my soul.
With all I am.
Lord I will follow You.
You took the cross.
You took my shame.
Restored my life.
Lord I live to worship you.

Search my heart and search my soul.
There’s nothing else that I want more.
Oh, without You I am nothing.
Search my heart and search my soul.

The song was simple but it was the simple-ness that gripped me. I don't know how many times over the years, I have struggled with issues only to ask the Lord to search my heart and my soul, to see the truth in me. I guess I said it again, after that situation with Phil, when he was upset about one of my alleged friends ( a person he wouldn't name or say what they said) said something to him. I have always tried to never say anything out of spite or even out of pain, because I know very well how words hurt, even if you don't mean to. I guess that is one reason why I don't say much when I am hurt or angry about something. I keep it to myself until I have more of a settled mind to say something without lashing out in pain or anger. I guess I learned that lesson well from my mother. My mother sometimes would say things off the cuff in anger with me, that would hurt, even though she never meant them to.

Well, what was said after that song, that the DJ talked about 1 Corinthians and I told myself I just have to open my Bible when I got home. So when I got home and got settled down, I opened it up. And read a bit of it. I also started reading it out loud, which Mekong most have thought it was funny, because she was crying and rubbing up against me. She must have thought I was talking to her. LOL I started to reading it out loud because I read that reading the Bible out loud helps a person understand it better as well as allows it to sink in your mind more then just reading it silently.

After reading a bit, I looked on my night stand and found a book that was under my Bible. It was Messiah, the World Only Hope. A study in Isaiah. I had planned on working on it months ago, when I was more into reading my Bible, but that too fell always like many ideas of mine. I looked thought it and realized that this was the perfect little Bible study for Easter along with my Lenten Devotional. One of my favorite books in the Bible is Isaiah. I love Isaiah 40, as I enjoy reading it when I do read my Bible. Maybe this really will help me get into reading my Bible again. I really feel that song that I heard on KLOVE, was a little push from God to help get me in the right direction.

I started Lesson One already. The first question was approximately how many different fake items do you own? I pondered about it for a while and realized that I had several. I have fake jewelry, fake fur, fake leather and even some fake food (instant potatoes, I have always called them fake potatoes) The paragraph before it said we have so many fake things in our lives, but we always want our relationships to be real and God is no different.

The second question was why do most people want their relationships to be real. I feel that question is easy, as no one want to think someone is acting fake wit them. They want real feelings and real commitments. Phil always talked about hating fake people and wanting a real relationship. He would say that I was being fake when I would cry and get upset about something that he felt was being dramatic. He thought I was play acting or something, when really I was very upset. People want real relationships because that way they can be open and free with the person, rather that always holding back with others because they might be fake. Does that make sense?

I didn't go much farther into the lesson, as I wanted to work a little bit on it a day, and I still have 1 more whole day before Lent starts.

EXERICISE: walked 3.01 Miles,

WATER INTAKE: 24 ounces of water

WEIGHT: 128 pounds