Day 14 of Post Water Fast by Sacristia Blog entry

Blog: My Health Journey
by Sacristia

Day 14 of Post Water Fast

My daily Journey to a healthier life style

Date: 3/10/2011 2:26:48 PM ( 13 y ) ... viewed 1451 times

March 3, 2011

My day was pretty good. It was mostly reflective when I had time to myself. I was thinking about my father, Phil and which direction my life has went into. I have to say that I have been worrying a bit about my father, and his health and why Phil hasn't talk to me much. I guess with Phil, it probably is just trying to get over the break up and rejection of trying to work things out with him. He seems so distant, and has for a long time.

I talked to Dad about Phil a couple days before he went into the hospital. I think my Dad understands that I am lonely and miss Phil. I embarrassingly have to say that I cried about it a bit over the phone as I discussed it with him. I told him that I wonder a lot if I didn't try enough with Phil or if I was really being selfish and not thinking about other, rather then myself all the time. It tears at me, sometimes and I just don't know. Just thinking about how I have been feeling lately, which I have been find a bit down. It isn't really depression, but just confusing feelings regarding Phil and a bit of saddness steming from my loneliness, my sorrow and disappointment. I have been having it for a couple weeks mostly, I noticed it after my last monthly cycle, thinking it was stemming from hormones, but now I am wondering if it is because I am not eating a helping of beans daily like I was before. And I am not eating as much salmon as I was before either. It made me wonder if my vitamin B levels were down which regulate depression like feelings. It just seems that I was much happier in December and January then I am now. I could be wrong, but it is a good thing to document it so I can watch for a deference, based on what I am eating.

My food was pretty simple. I had a granny smith apple (for breakfast) some pumpkin seeds (for a snack) a chef salad minus meat with balsamic vinaigrette, and I bought some Salmon and veggies at the store for dinner.

I really need to list my food intake again, but I have to go back and copy and paste the thing back into my blog template that I use. I probably won't do it now since I am so close to starting my water fast for Lent.

I guess I can be accountable by listing what is on my grocery list. I say that because I was very bad. I guess it shows that I am human and I do fall off the wagon, as I walk to a healthier life style. I have to say that it is the first time I have done it since I started this. I guess the rule of thumb is NEVER BRING THINGS INTO THE HOUSE OR PURCHASE THINGS THAT ARE NOT GOOD FOR YOU OR YOU DO NOT WANT TO EAT.

I bought some Lenten Paczkis. They looked so good and every year I have a couple just before Lent, but since I have a two week rule and the two week marker for my cheat day has passed, I fell off the wagon to enjoy the seasonal paczkis.

First let me list my grocery list:

Garden Privera (a fresh mixture) $2.99
Bag of organic Broccoli and cauliflower $2.00
Bag of organic baby veggies (zuhuni and yellow squash) $0.99
Box of raspberries $2.00
Box of blackberries $2.00
Box of Strawberries $1.67
Box of strawberries $1.67
A bag of radishes $0.99
A small clam box of Spring mixed baby greens $3.99
Bag of frozen frozen turnip greens $0.99
Bag of frozen Broccoli and Cauliflower $1.29
A box of 6 Paczki (apple, blueberry and Bavarian)$ 4.49

I made Salmon and veggies for my dinner, and only after I had dinner, I decided to have a paczki. I thought that my will power was greater, as I only had one, and planned on taking the rest over at Christy's house for them or even the office. But soon, I found myself having another one, and then another one! I ate 4 in all. Well, I was full (from dinner and then the paczkis) and I felt a little bit sick, as the sugar must have hit me hard, as I got antsy after a little bit. I have so say that after the first one, I thought the fresh raspberries would have tasted better, but I was drawn to another paczki instead. Horrible, isn't it?! So I decided that I would post what I am buying as well, so that why I can't cheat and say one thing and end up doing another. I say that because I read online that sometimes when people post what they are eating in their food blog, not all of them are truthful in what they are really ingesting, so I thought it would be a way that I could be accountable to what I am purchasing and eating.

I laid in bed for a while after that and I felt really horrible about eating 4 paczki, but I told myself it was okay, that I realized what I did wrong. I really should have went up to the bakery to see if I could buy just a single one, instead of a whole box of them. I also told myself, I should feel too horrible about eating them, because there was really no harm done, other then I had tons and tons of sugar in my system. I guess I was trying hard to make sure that I didn't make it too negative of an experience that I would feel that I had to do something drastic to make up for it. I made a mistake and we all make mistakes and that is okay. I want my mistake to be healthy for me and not cause me to warp how I see all sugary foods. Trying to keep a healthy mental perspective on it, it isn't always easy when I felt really bad about it. I still can't believe that I ate 4 of them! I guess it was warranted due to any stress I was carrying. LOL (Yes, I know that is no excuse, but at least it was a good try.)

I don't even want to know how many calories I ingested, but since I am such a knowledge geek, I have to find out. It was horrible.

One paczki is 329 calories, so I ate 4, which means I consumed 1,316 calories! Horrible, but I will live. I will make sure that I don't do that again!

All I have to say that it was very hard getting to sleep with all that sugar in my system. Boy, am I am going to feel it in the morning!

EXERICISE: walked 2.45 Miles,

WATER INTAKE: Unknown

WEIGHT: 132 pounds