HELP!!!!! NEED assistance with VBAC at home!!! Lack of support from doctors!

I want to have a VBAC and I am not finding any doctors willing to do it and no midwives will birth at home with me. In my family both my mother and Aunt have had great success with VBACs at home yet in my family I have also seen bad outcomes from C-sections. My second cousin died from a routine repeat C-section. I have done a lot of research and C-section deaths are covered up and the sad thing is that the doctors still look like heros in C-section deaths. Uterine rupture is less than 1%. I am also afraid to go the hospital because I have heard that they try to set the mother up for another C-section. With my first baby I was progressing fast and I was about 7 cm dilated when they put the internal fetal monitor on his head. Well he didn't like that and he had temp de celerations. They didn't give him less than 5 mins to calm down and they started to wheel me down the hall saying they had to do an emergency C-section. My son was not in real distress because he had a 9.9 apgar score. The de cells were from the scalp thing they poked in his head. Well they didn't act like I had a choice in the matter and by the time I was in the OR I could feel them spreading my legs and pushing him back up the birth canal. He had a cone head when he came out and I know I could of delivered him. At the time everything in my heart told me that what they did was wrong and un ethical. I was mad but they laughed at me. I felt like I had been raped or something, The same kind of feelings, loss of control, violated, humiliated. Well my insticts were correct becuase I pulled my medical records and now I know they planned the complications and planned the C-section. When they were in there they took off a simple cyst that was on my ovary. During the pregancy I was told by a specialist that it would go away after the pregnancy because of the hormones and that I shouldn't worry about it. My doctor had mentioned it a few times but wanted to operate on it and even suggested a section just because of it so he could take care of it while he was in there. Well I said no of course. Well in the medical report it states that they removed the cyst yet I had thought it went away on its own. They also said that they advised my husband and I about it yet they NEVER did. They never said a word about it to us. The doctor and hospital also made more on my section that most other sections because it was considered to be an additional surgery. Well I was progressing so fast that they barley were able to even get a section and it seems like they were trying to find reasons to give me a section early on. Everything in my being tells me it was set up. Then I run into a woman at Walmart with a baby nearly the same age as Jacob and she told me when the put the internal monitor on that is when things went wrong. Now I have a lack of trust towards doctors. What do I need to do a un assisted home VBAC??????????? What equipment do we need and where do we get it? Any advice would be great.

Sarah :)
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