I'm about to commit suicide

I've been so depressed and self-conscious about the eczema on my face I feel like committing suicide lately.

I've had eczema since I was 3 months old, but it's never really bothered me until I was about 16. I discovered I had peanut allergies, and during a trip to Asia, my face was constantly swelling and weeping. After returning to North America for a few months, it got better with strong steroids (topical) and UV light therapy. As a result, my face is red due to the thinned skin a lot of times.

I've moved to Hong Kong 2 years ago, and it seemed to have gotten better for a while but I partied too much and my skin got worse. I stopped partying, went to see the doc to clean up my skin, and if I remember correctly he didn't give me any oral steroids, just topical ones.

After getting better for a while, I switched jobs and my eczema cleared up for 3 months completely over the summer. It got worse after a boat trip though with being sunburned and being in the ocean all day, and didn't heal from then. It was all over my body (but less on my face) for 2 months before I went to see the doc again; this time he gave me steroids to control the redness all over my body (I couldn't sleep cuz of the dryness and itchiness every night)

Again my eczema got better until I moved 2 months ago. Slowly my face had eczema, and now it's been really really bad for the past 1.5 months. It's constantly weeping, swelling and an ugly shade of red all the time. I've tried everything, including going back to the doc a few weeks ago for steroids, but after I got off the steroids, it was still as bad as before.

I've tried everything from switching rooms, to eating almost nothing but veggies, chicken and red rice, to taking a lot of evening primrose, to putting nothing but vitamin E on my face. The most I'll get is my face not weeping for a couple of days, and then it comes back again.

I'm tired of everyone looking at me like I'm a monster with two heads, and I'm tired of everyone asking me what's wrong with my face. I'm also tired of the constant cracking, dry feeling and weeping of my face.

The weird thing is, my body (from the neck down) is fine. There's a little eczema but it's bearable. My theory is that it's contact dermatitis, but I have yet to figure out what I'm allergic to.

I really have tried almost everything, is there any suggestions out there to help me? Seriously, it's so unbearable that I'm constantly thinking that suicide will end all this pain! Tweet