Re: god someone help me PLEASE i.u.d. is destorying my marriage and life

hi,
thank you everyone who has replied to my posting.....things haven't changed much...the i.u.d. ( intentional.unwanted.disorder )as i like to call it is comming out on friday....i finally got her to do it...she told me she had read some of what everyone has wrote....the home she was moving into has now fallen through...she told me the other night she wasn't sure if she wanted the devorce, it is complacted..in her words...i'm now at my whits end...i have read a few post that say because it has been in her for now over 3 and 1/2 years that it could take anywhere from 2 months to a year for her to get back to normal, where she actually see's what it has done to our relationship....i'm sorry everyone i have now been a month and a day since the first papers were brought home, i see that progress is being made but i just can't do it anymore.....maybe she is right a devorce is what we need, i can't keep kissing her ass and her treating me like crap....i am now so far gone and depressed that i just can't hold on anymore...i put so much hope into this evil evil evil iud comming out and things being better sooner then later that i have no back up plan....i haven't drank in over a month and now i wonder why i stopped...she is treating me so bad now....she went out with her friend to a club (which she wouldn't ever go with me) she stayed out all night and came home at like 8:00 am th enext day...she doesn't consider us to be married though she hasn't filled the papers...i can no longer take anymore....she is looking for reasons to pick fights now....she accused me of stealing her "eye makeup remover" i mean come on now....i'm sorry to say i have failed all of you ladies....i just started a new job and things were looking up but i just have so much stress, since she bought the new car she cant' afford to help me with any of the bills so i pay them the house payment and christmas on top of that....i'm so tired and so worn down that i can no longer fight...i prey to god every day to give me the strenght, but yet i don't have it...i'm at the point now i wish i could just erase my mind of her and never have to think of her again.....her friend has become a big influence on her and is now come between us...the is a rule that has been broken and i can't stand around and be hurt because of it...rule is...married couples should not hang out with single people, nor should a married man nor women go out clubbing or to a bar with a single women or man....friends are great to have but once the single friends starts getting the married friend to go out the married friend see's what she no longer has becase of being married and having children....thats why my wife told me that "it's not fun being married to you" i have tried my best to just blame this all on the iud but to tell you the truth i don't think it's all the iud, i know i play a largee role in this but she has the final say so....because it's true you can tell a women 10,000 times the same thing but until she wants it it won't happen...us men we are simple for our loves we will do anything....and the women of the world know it, thus women have the conrtol which i don't mind as long as they are not taking advantage of it...which i'm starting to believe my future ex-wife is...i'm so sorry to everyone...i have tried to stick it out, but i'm being hurt to bad....please understand i'm not venting towards anyone, i am just starting to believe that this is all my fault and i'm to blame for her wanting to go out without me and meet new people and have fun with others and leave me at home with the kids....that it's my fault she had to get the iud, because i gave her two kids and she couldn't go have fun. i took her youth away...everything is my fault, i am as she has stated in the past many times....nothing but a LOSER...so i guess i deserve all of this....funny thing though, i had my head in a bottle for almost 6 years, i missed out on so much...i ask god for help and he helped me and now she wants to leave after i stop drinking....why did god help me if i was going to lose my family anyways ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????