god someone help me PLEASE i.u.d. is destorying my marriage and life

hi,
i have been reading alot of the post that everyone has written. i am a guy and i'm married and have two kids son 5 in jan and daughter 3 and a 1/2. my wife and i got married after 5 and 1/2 of being together. the 18th of this month is our 6 month ann. i'm writing you in hopes for some help. i have contacted many doctors about the i.u.d and they have a new law that won't let them answer any of my questions. i'm hoping someone will help me and my wife. here is the story.

wife has i.u.d had it for over 3 years now, she has all the problems everyone else is experencing and has for a while. i have asked my wife for a devorice and didn't mean it i just wanted her to change and be nice to me and starting treating me like her husband, well now she has brought home the papers. she tells me now ( the next day, which is now two weeks) that she doesn't love me the way she should and she doesn't know why. she wants the devorice, and doesn't care about anything. she thinks nothing is wrong but i got a chance to talk to one very nice lady and told her about what was going on and she told me that she needs to get it removed or get help. my wife loves me i know, she still sleeps next to me and lets me hold her, i kiss her but she won't kiss me back, we do everything together still. she has gotten to the point she is almost always mad at everything she no longer cares about very much. she won't talk to me and her period last for a month and then goes away for two weeks and then another month, this has to be messing with her hormones. she sends the children to there room when they get home and she wants to do nothing she yells at me and them. i have had alot of my own problems that have effected our relationship but i keep getting put down, my wife will call me a loser and say i'm worthless she hasn't had a sex drive in so long i can't remember whats t's like to turn her on. she tells me that she is no longer attracted to me nor anyother man and hasn't been in years. for a man ladies please undrstand a man needs to feel wanted and needed sexually, it makes us depressed that they women we love don't want us to touch them. i'm going nuts i feel like i'm going to lose my wife and family over her not caring. i have been the one trying to hold us together, i do all the things that a man should i buy flowers i make things ( a blanket with our names kids names birth dates marriage date etc..by hand) i buy cards i try to romance her i have even gon to the exstent of begging her to get the i.u.d. taking out. i'm just so scared of losing her. she tells me that i'm doing everything right she just doesn't love me the way she should nor does she want to know. she won't take the i.u.d. out because she says she knows it will make things better for us and she doesn't want that. she doesn't want to gain weight from it comming out, she tells me there is nothing wrong with her, i asked to to get marriage counsling with me she says no nothing wrong. her breast hurt all the time she is always to tired to do anything with me, her back hurts, etc...
the part of this that is making me write is in the papers to get the divorice she says she wants nothing...not the house not the car, nothing but childsupport....we are going to be moving in jan, she tells me that she wants to go seperate ways. she has no where to go no car nothing but the clothes on her backa nd she doesn't care she can't even tell me why she doesn't care. i blame the i.u.d. for messing with her periods and in turn messing with her hormones and thus making her not care nor feel anything for anyone, she doesn't care about her parents her family or anything...i want the person i fell in love with back 6 years ago, i want her to be better, even if we can't work this out i want her to be happy but also to take better care of the kids and to treat people with kindness and compassion.it just doesn't make since one day she just stops loving me and doesn't even want to try to fix the problem, i know it's not another man she has no sex drive...it's hard for a man who really loves his wife to hear i'm having sex with you because you want it and i don't, it's just to please you....there is no love sex with some who just wants to be over with.

i could go on for hours about what all has changed fromt he i.u.d. but please understand i really need help, i'm reaching out into the world for some answers and help to convince her to take it out...everyone says they feel so much better after it's out.
please let me know what you think and if anyone can help.
aaron