Re: Going to Court

thanks, molly... it's amazing that you picked him up as being needy when i hadn't even mentioned it. he needed me desperately, but never admitted to that specifically. he had me 'working' for him in a sense; i felt like an employee. i was always doing things for him, and he would often call me at work and ask me to do things for him while i was there, like make phone calls, send emails, do research...

i don't know if he'd really come after me or not; i really think he was just a big bully and now that he sees that he can't push me around he's probably moved on to his next victim. he controlled me with fear. he used to drive my own car recklessly to scare me; he always made me let him drive because i did not drive aggressively enough for his tastes; i didn't cut people off, or refuse to let them change lanes ahead of me... he would slam on the brakes on the highway if i said something he didn't like, or aim for a bus head-on (you should have seen the look of terror on the poor driver's face!), or threaten to drive off an overpass or into a pole...

i dated him in-between a relationship that i went back to recently. my new old boyfriend thinks it's partly my fault because i stayed with him and thinks i'm weak; this coming from a man who does not believe in violence against women at all. i wish i knew what to say to him to make him understand that he had me twisted psychologically.

and counseling; yes, i've been seeing a counselor since early february. she's wonderful. very helpful. i have a lot of issues besides this one, and she's very supportive. she's a recovery expert. i have a ways to go, especially since i just decided once and for all that i belonged in AA. that has been a solid rock that is sorely needed in my life right now.

thanks again, molly.