Re: I'm stuck( not for long)

Ouch...Jimmie.

I am sorry that you feel disturbed. Clearly you have misunderstood my message(s). I am not here to offend anyone although after your post I now feel offended.
I am a kind, sensitive, positive, direct, communicative and giving type of person. Advise and opinions are just that. It is unfortunate that when you are trying to share a new perspective to help someone, that you have to take the time to defend your own good intentions.
I do not believe in Sugar coating a point or hurting someone with a point. I was simply sharing, in my humble attempt to be helpful to a person that was hurting looking for some answers. An opinion is just that, an opinion. Although, I disagree with yours, I am “very happy” that you have one. Smiles. However, I never said as you stated that anyone “should bend out of shape to please someone else”… Where did you get that? Wow.

Well to be clear and direct, my view on that subject is that a person should “only” change if they choose to change for the purpose of making themselves into the person that they want to be “for themselves”. For example, if I am with someone that decides to leave me for being overweight, I have 3 choices. I can choose to stay overweight and let that person leave me. I can choose to lose the weight so that he will stay or I can lose the weight for myself and decide if I want to stay with someone that does not accept me the way that I am. It is all about choices. I believe that positive change is good. I believe that a person should change to become the best person that they can be…Not for the other person but for themselves because it is what they want for themselves. It is up to each of us to decide when, why and how we will change.
Lastly, many of my friends and acquaintances call me frequently for relationship advice and feel that I am usually on the mark.
So again Jimmie, I am sorry if you are disturbed by my effort to help someone look at things from a different angle. I was under the impression that that’s what a forum was all about. My efforts are to share information that I have experienced and others have shared with me, so that someone can learn from some of my mistakes “if they choose to”. I never said that my view was the only view or the right view; I would be foolish to think of myself in that way. Without going into total detail I will share that I have experienced a lot more than most, in my short 42 years of life and that I totally understand in complete detail about abandonment issues... I have read over 100+ books on the subjects of dating, relationships, divorce and marriage. Not to mention the other books that I have read. I have been in the lowest darkest place. However, after taking a time out for myself, focusing on growing me (reading & listening to others that have some wisdom), and changing my behaviors, not allowing just anyone in my life, learning from my mistakes (poor choices) the mistakes of friends and acquaintances I have made better choices and now I am HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY and have been for over 7 years now. Again, so it is clear, I am sorry if I have upset you in any way because that was not my intent. My intent is & was to simply share another perspective. I am not sorry for having wisdom and an opinion. I do take my own advice- smiles.
Best Wishes,
P.S. Another good book to read is “The 10 Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives”. It worked for me.

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