You do sound very young and infatuated with this girl.However, a relationship is only possible and viable if BOTH want it. It appears that she does not want to continue to see you. Your thinking that you somehow wrecked it is probably not true.It may give you some hope to believe this but from your post it seems that your behaviour was not destructive enough to cause her to pull away. My opinion is that you are a victim of 'unrequited love'. Just one of the potholes along the journey of life -very painful but not terminal. You are very articulate and your intelligence will serve you well if you can just take it a day at a time until all that pain subsides.... Good luck