Re: I'm stuck

This is a tough situation.
It sounds like you firmly do not want to let go of what was....
Please don't take my comments as too tough, because that is not my intent to add any hurt to your situation but to only add a new way of looking at things.

Personally, I think that you should take a time out, change directions and continue to grow yourself.
You say that you have changed. If when you were together, you were the person that you believe that you are today, then you would not have exhibited the behavior that she experienced with you. So with that said. How does she know that you have changed other than you saying that you have changed? Actions speak louder than words.

First of all, if I was she, and I felt that you burned me, I would not consider putting my hand back on the stove “unless I absolutely knew that it was off/safe and there was something on it that I sincerely wanted”.
Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, shame on me.

Secondly, Perhaps you were the only one that was truly happy in the relationship.
If you want her back, she will have to see that you are different. As a woman, the only way that I have observed that a guy has changed is to give him another chance. I did not do that too often, especially if he did not exhibit the majority of the qualities that I wanted during the first go round. Do you know or did you ever discuss what she wanted in a guy? Do you know what she enjoys, what makes her happy and secure in a relationship?
I’ve been in several relationships where the guy changed to be what I wanted him to be or tried to and they never worked out. Most of my girlfriends and I find a man attractive if he is himself and makes us feel special. It is as simple as that. If the relationship is too much work then it is not worth it. Don’t get me wrong. All relationships are work…they are just not “too much” work. If they are, then you are in the wrong relationship. In her mind, does taking you back mean that she is taking a risk at being hurt the same way again. Are there other issues that she is concerned about that keep her away from a relationship with you? Why does it have to be now? If the love that you shared is that strong/deep, can’t it still be in 3 or 6 months? Give yourself some time to focus on something other than her. Give her some time to miss you.
Never put all of your eggs in one basket.
If you keep doing what you’re doing then you will keep getting what you’re getting.
If you pour water (hurt) onto someone most times they will not become dry (bounce back) in a matter of minutes. The time frame will depend upon the climate/conditions. They will either dry slowly or fast.
Love is a Choice. Love is Action. You can decide what love looks like and hope that her view of what it looks like is the same. That is something you should discuss in the beginning of every relationship.
My final thought for you is to give her some time, but more importantly give yourself some time. I am sure that if you allow yourself to have a different focus you will be more pleased with the outcome.

Best wishes.

P.S. If you are really serious about that/any relationship…
Go to the bookstore or library and check out the book
“The 10 Stupid Things Men Do To Mess Up Their Lives”
You will be glad that you did. It changed my husbands life.
Tweet