Re: Can't forget soulmate

You know, I had a similar situation years ago. Even though I wasn't 19, I was 25, it was really my first serious boyfriend/relationship. Even though there was no sex involved (as I had stated I would stay a virgin until I got married) being with this guy helped me matured some and see the world in a different way. I was very insecure, immature and this relationship, which lasted a year, really changed me. I was then able to be more open, extrovert and share more with people, where before it was even hard to say hello back to people since I was SOOO shy!!! This guy understood me. He knew I liked classical music, and he did too, so he would take me to concerts. He knew I liked a certain type of magazine, he would buy it for me. He would make me soup and tea when I was sick and take me to places and fancy restaurants. He would compliment me on my physical looks and also my other qualities (like playing the piano, singing, painting) and that made me feel so good. Imagine, a man that understands you and tries to pleases you and is loving and caring, etc etc. The problem is that, even though I was sooo "in-love" with him (which later I was able to understand I wasn't in love with him) I had to end this relationship since, being a christian, I knew deep down inside there was someone outthere for me, and I just needed to wait. I did end the relationship since I knew in my heart I wouldn't have married the guy. I even lost about 30 pounds (imagine, 5' 10" and weighin 128 lbs) NOT GOOD!! The thing is that I kept thinking about this guy for years. I'm married now, been married for 3 years and at the beginning I made the mistake to compare my husband with this guy I dated before. Well, my husband is not the same. And I even thought I had made a mistake. But I know I didn't. I realized I was really more "in love" with the fact that I matured while dating this guy, I learned more about the world, I was able to go place and just start a conversation with strangers and I wasn't embarassed. I know realized I thought all that was love, but it really wasn't. Especially when I found out this other guy couldn't take it for one year and ended up sleeping with another girl. But when I got married I was wanting my husband to be like this guy. So I even tried to find his e-mail and address over the internet. I thought I needed him because my husband doesn't like classical music and he's not into all the little details a woman wants. The flowers, the magazine I like, the concerts, etc. But that doesn't mean he doesn't love me. It means he's just different. But he's a christian and he promised me before God that he would be faithful to me, and I believe him. And that's important. And he has other qualitites that are good. Actually, the ones I need to he helps to keep me in balance. So I finally let go of this other guy. I was just "in love" with the qualities he had, but not really him. Once he had mentioned marriage and deep deep down inside I told myself, NEVER!! I don't love him enough to marry him. I just "love" what he does for me. But I don't love him. So I was able to let go of that memory and work really hard on appreciating the good qualities my husband has, which I know many men don't have and I have to hang on to that, 'cause he's really special to me and I truly love HIM, not his qualities, but HIM. Who he is. I couldn't live without my husband. We love each other very much and respect each other, so that's really what counts. And, yes, I do believe we're soulmates. We've been married 3 years, dated only 7 months, and we feel we've known each other for years and years. And people that know us tell us that we're just made for each other. We compliment each other and that's very important. One last thing I want to tell you and I don't recall you mentioning it. But in any case, my husband and I share everything and while it's hard sometimes to share your feelings and thoughts with a partner, it's important and my husband knows about this guy I dated and all the things that happened before. And it's good, because it proofs how much he loves me when he says that it's in the past and we're living OUR lives now. So I think it would be good if you could share your feelings with your soon-to-be-husband. If he really loves you like you say he does, he'll understand and he'll actually help you go through this. So you're not alone, you have him. Don't do it to test if he loves you or trusts you, do it IF YOU trust HIM. And believe, that will get you guys closer!!! Best of luck!! Tweet