Dear rudenski,
thank you for continuing to share. I was surprised that many of the things in your belief system are much like my own. I hope you will continue to share the details of your experience as there is obviously so much more. I know, what you say reminds me of a converssation I had with a man blind from birth. He said he had gotten angry with some people because they were praying for him to receive his sight and he said he didn't need or want sight. He said if he suddenly could see, he wouldn't know what to do with it, so he didn't want to see anyway. So how do you explain things to someone like that. How do you tell him there is nothing "to do". Or the difference between a small and pretty blue bird and an ugly black buzzard? Etc. etc. etc.....
But to the degree that you can explain (and you are very talented) and the level that we can fathom, it really is something we seem to crave.
To New Girl:
Yeeeeeah!!!!!! You go girl! Now you are on the right track. Read back over every word you wrote, 'cause I want you to remember that and gleam the truths from your own statements and live happily by them. :-D