Re: I am lost.Please help

Your boyfriend is being selfish! Whether planned and wanted or not, the reality is you are carrying his baby. As a grown man, he knows very well what precautions to take to make reasonably sure that he doen's get a woman pregnant...and he chose not to use protection. Regardless of your thinking that he is a nice man, he is most definitely putting his needs and those of his wife and other children above what you and your child need and want.

It sounds like you do not want to go through another abortion, and at 31yo...this may be your only chance to have a child. Please don't kid yourself and dismiss what I have just said! My husband left me when I was 34yo and I thought I had plenty of time to find another partner and have the children I always wanted. Today, I am 46yo with no partner and have had to accept that having my own children is very highly unlikely! I have learned to fill my life in other ways and I am happy...but I also know that I have and will continue to miss out on one of the greatest joys in life!!!

He says that having this child will "damage him spiritually". What will having another abortion do to you spiritually...especially if you are primarily doing it because that is what HE wants?!!! Undoubtedly, this is a very difficult situation that will disrupt many people's lives, and it appears that he is more concerned with minimizing the damage to HIS life. Sorry...you play, you pay!!!

Follow YOUR heart. Do what is best for YOU & YOUR CHILD. And let him deal with his own consequences!

*And I certainly hope that you are not thinking that if you have this abortion everything will be fine between the two of you and things will go back to what they were! ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! This is a major event in a couples relationship and it will forever change it.