Re: Outside/Inside

Yes, come to think of it my mother is a bit of a rebel! She left home right after school, almost ran away, to a big city and married an Anglo. She was from a very traditional hispanic family. ANd i already told you she is scorpio...so...very strong also. IN fact, she told me not too long ago that she didn't marry a young love of hers because she was afraid of getting tied down to raising a family all of her life and nothing else. Well, she just ended up marrying a mentally ill (my dad) man and becoming a single parent....then marrying an alcoholic. Maybe she should've married for love in the first place....ha ha. Love you mom!

Rebel, well, not in the traditional sense of the word. More internally, like you say. I do want freedom, freedom from convention, freedom from what I "should" to to do what I truly want to do, liberation. I think liberator is in my set of archetypes. Freedom from what the 'tribe' says I should do, feel and live. Freedom to be able to have a fulfilling, creative career. To have time in my life to spend on what I want.

I see the dream as more of me rebelling against my situation. I am resisting. To resolve this, I need to keep embracing acceptance and love, for my children and myself.

Going back, yes, desire for freedom and for harmony. Definitely. Balance. I'm curious you find this perplexing...not the right word...paradoxical...oxymoron? Like I said, I think of 'inner' rebel. The rebel that finds strong inner peace, harmony and soul fulfillment. That really knows herself and is not crushed by her world. That doesn't have to leave her family or do something extremely radical to be 'free'. I love them way too much and I've been through abondonement...could never do it (I don't think). Free in spirit...that says it all. Free in mind. Free in possibilities. Freedom from repression of self-induced shame. We are all Glorious Beings and I am trying to challenge myself and others of anything that says otherwise.

I work with what I already have (my immediate family), in that respect. I don't seek to rebel against the solid foundation of my family but of the 'tribal' consciousness, expectations and limitations that has helped us move so far away from Spirit.

Lori