Sir, i was in the same shape as you, I have alot of people who have told me over and over not to give up. And for the Jesus thing, trust me I have seen alot of spiritual miracles in my life but I havent had any myself either. THere is a GOD and JEsus does exist , i can ssure you of that, I saw a woman get exorcised once and I was scared to death, there was a green mist and everything in the church, i was in jr high at the time and let me tell you i was freaked. I also saw a kid i arrested once flip out in the back of my squad car and he was spitting up stuff youd never seen before, he hacked on my screen and it was green to, after that I think imight have actually turned the kid around cause he seemed to straighten up but i thnk he was possessed also. I am serious there are miracles out there, how to find or get one, that is a different story, I have faith in GOd but I am so beat down that it isnt even funny, my life is like you try to do the right thing but you are continuously harrassed on a daily basis. trust me i know how you feel exactly. dont give up just yet.