Can't Stop Crying :(

Hello,

I'm sorry to burden anyone reading this, but I don't want to tell anyone I know what has happened to me. I think I just need to vent b/c I suffer alone. I am 29, female and single. I have been single most of my life b/c I've always held onto the idealistic fantasy of finding "the one". I am admittedly very choosy. I have never believed in casual sex, and b/c of that, I have abstained from sex for over 2 years (since my last relationship).

Recently I had been set up with a man by a very good friend who'd attended the same college as him. He is smart and extremely successful. We went on a date and it was decent, but again, I'm picky. Still, I gave it another shot at his eager insistence and last week we went on our second date. That night I became the victim of date rape. It's hard to say that b/c I blame myself for much of it. I was intoxicated and passed out when it happened. Afterward, I felt so violated and humiliated that I just wanted to put it behind me and forget it ever happened. But now I will have a constant reminder for the rest of my life.

2 days later, I began to experience symptoms of what turned out to be genital herpes. I didn't know what it was, of course, but I went to a clinic and they told me. I haven't stopped crying ever since (as I am now). I am currently experiencing the worst pain I have ever experienced in my life, both physically and emotionally. I live alone and I have not told anyone. I started on Valtrex yesterday, but the pain is getting worse. It may be too late for treatment. I have so many lesions I can't count. I cannot move my lower body at all w/o sharp pain--walking, bending over, or sitting is unbearable. All I can do now is lie still. I am excreting pus constantly. I have slept just a few hours in days and have barely eaten. I pee in bathwater b/c it is too painful otherwise. I looked to this forum for help, but don't feel anyone else can entirely relate. I honestly don't think I can bare this for another possible 2 weeks. Not even 2 more days! I feel completely incompacitated. And it makes me sick to think that I could have constant outbreaks even after I get well again. It makes me want to...not live. I just don't see how I can move on from this. Not if it feels like this. Is there anything I can do for some pain relief?!
I know it sounds melodramatic, but I truly feel like my life is ruined.

Thanks for your time.