solowtime
Thank you both for reading my story and for the advise and words of encouragement. I have thought about a variety of things regarding the man (what kind of "man" is he? More like monster) who did this to me. (Sorry, I am still in the resentful, "why me?" phase.) If I do decide to sue him, I might feel vindicated and be compensated, yes, (he is actually a professional athlete, so not only does he have money, he has a reputation to uphold), but the only problem is that it would be my word against his. We were both intoxicated, and in cases like mine, it will probably be difficult to prove that it wasn't consentual "drunk sex". Whether or not he deliberately raped me, he can always claim that he misunderstood b/c I never actually said "no". And b/c I was passed out for the most part, I have no details to refute any claim he makes. Besides, I'd really rather not share this experience with anyone, esp my family, friends, and esp a court of strangers. It could go to press too (b/c of his career), which is just too much.
I have thought to simply confront him, threaten to go to press unless he admits what he did to me, and pay for my meds. I'm not looking for major compensation or anything. I don't have medical insurance, so I figure the least he can do for ruining my life, is to pay for medication. But what if he denies my claims and even of having the stds (it looks as though he gave me multiple stds--have yet to be tested for hiv; might've raped my analy too)?! If he denies, than I have no proof. I don't know what to do...
Right now, I'm still struggling physically more than anything. Can't get out of bed, can't sleep... still can't stop crying. Please tell me it gets better??? I don't think I can take this. I don't have money for treatment. I see a lot of alternative remedy claims here, but I just don't know b/c nothing is definitive and everyone reacts so differently. Lysine, coconut oil, zappers (?!), ozone therapy, oxygen...it all sounds so foreign and confusing. I've never had anything more than the flu before!
I'm trying to cope, to recover, but it is so difficult. I don't know what else to say... sorry I'm feeling so sorry for myself and pathetic...