Can't Stop Crying :( 
solowtime
19 y
5,244
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Hello,
I'm sorry to burden anyone reading this, but I don't want to tell anyone I know what has happened to me. I think I just need to vent b/c I suffer alone. I am 29, female and single. I have been single most of my life b/c I've always held onto the idealistic fantasy of finding "the one". I am admittedly very choosy. I have never believed in casual sex, and b/c of that, I have abstained from sex for over 2 years (since my last relationship).
Recently I had been set up with a man by a very good friend who'd attended the same college as him. He is smart and extremely successful. We went on a date and it was decent, but again, I'm picky. Still, I gave it another shot at his eager insistence and last week we went on our second date. That night I became the victim of date rape. It's hard to say that b/c I blame myself for much of it. I was intoxicated and passed out when it happened. Afterward, I felt so violated and humiliated that I just wanted to put it behind me and forget it ever happened. But now I will have a constant reminder for the rest of my life.
2 days later, I began to experience symptoms of what turned out to be genital herpes. I didn't know what it was, of course, but I went to a clinic and they told me. I haven't stopped crying ever since (as I am now). I am currently experiencing the worst pain I have ever experienced in my life, both physically and emotionally. I live alone and I have not told anyone. I started on Valtrex yesterday, but the pain is getting worse. It may be too late for treatment. I have so many lesions I can't count. I cannot move my lower body at all w/o sharp pain--walking, bending over, or sitting is unbearable. All I can do now is lie still. I am excreting pus constantly. I have slept just a few hours in days and have barely eaten. I pee in bathwater b/c it is too painful otherwise. I looked to this forum for help, but don't feel anyone else can entirely relate. I honestly don't think I can bare this for another possible 2 weeks. Not even 2 more days! I feel completely incompacitated. And it makes me sick to think that I could have constant outbreaks even after I get well again. It makes me want to...not live. I just don't see how I can move on from this. Not if it feels like this. Is there anything I can do for some pain relief?!
I know it sounds melodramatic, but I truly feel like my life is ruined.
Thanks for your time.
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- Re: Can't Stop Crying :( #54973
19 y
4,910
MoreThis is a reply to # 372,680Advertisement
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have you contacted the police about this? it's understandable that you are feeling this way and nothing I or anyone says can make you feel better im sure. But maybe you really do need to talk to someone hun. If not a friend or family memeber and counsleor of some kind. you don't need to be dealing with this alone, for real. I am sorry that you are suffering, and i wish there was something i could do to make it go away for you. anytime you want to email me you are more then welcome. but please consider confiding in someone, i think it will make you feel better.
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- Re: Can't Stop Crying :( Johny Apple Bomb
19 y
5,013
Lugol’s Iodine Free S&H
J.Crow’s® Lugol’s Iodine Solution. Restore lost reserves.
Original Dr. Hulda Clark
Hulda Clark Cleanses
Cleanse the Liver
with a natural herbal detox
This is a reply to # 372,680Download this book for free. On page 179 their is a section on the treatment of Herpies. "Cure for all Diseases".
http://www.royalrife.com/books.html
It sounds to me like you can reduce the virus to very low levels and maybe over time elliminate it. Also look into Ozone therapy and perhaps magnetic pulse machines to kill the Virus that is hidden in the nerve tissues.
The Bob beck protocol is also available for download at.
http://nicolaquinn.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=31 - Re: Can't Stop Crying :( speechlessly50
19 y
4,922
Lugol’s Iodine Free S&H
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This is a reply to # 372,680Advertisement
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Since this case is a date rape and he gave you herpes, you can sue him. However, he must have asset in order for attorneys to be interested to work on, and this is the first question the attorneys asked me on the phone. Or you can just try, if there are some not money grabber attorneys want to just put him in jail, you can get your compensation. Also, don't let the time be drag too long, the attorney who is willing to take my case search from " his cellular phone # " for his current whereabout, so the attorney advise me don't wait too long for data search will be more difficult. ( The attorney has to search for his health record as well as yours, too. ) Since I am a Christian, I need to think harder whether to sue the person who is a non-Christian, so I did'nt sue him yet. Pls report to a police first just to have a record whether you want to sue him or not in future. Then, call the attorneys in yellow pages that advertise for " sexual asault ". If they don't take the case, ask them to refer you to free government attorneys who would at least answer your call and analyse if they will take your case. Or check the phone book or any internet site for lawyers' name who won in Herpes case. ( Again, I found it difficult to sue the ex who lives now in New York while I am in California, and the lawyer who is willing to take my case is in a state in the middle of the country. So I hesitate that in court cases, I might have to fly to the state where the lawyer is at. ) Pls remember that suing the other person might give you a lot of stresses, as one has to repeat and repeat the story again and again, or sometimes there is misunderstandings, so you have to weigh if it is worth to sue or not. Equally important to suing, you need to have a good health, in order to meet with the lawyer, so taking care of yourself is very important, too.
I found I.V. hydrogen peroxide and rectal ozone help me. Half a year later, you will feel better. And if you can manage well, one year later, the Herpes can be less painful and under control. Pls read on every response in this email to try out those therapy with the most people find effective as to put the Herpes under control, as not to waste time. So I will just go for ozone therapy, I.V. hydrogen peroxide, and diet. Then, implement with vitamins, raw garlic, olive leaf,etc. when you have time for those. Take Care.- Re: Can't Stop Crying :( #54973
19 y
4,626
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Hulda Clark cleanses
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This is a reply to # 372,686I agree with speechless. you really need to report this to someone hun, no one should be allowed to get away with what was done to you....i wish you lived near me cause id come give you a big hug!!!! please if you need someone to talk to you can email me ANYTIME! - Re: Can't Stop Crying :( solowtime
19 y
4,603
This is a reply to # 372,686Thank you both for reading my story and for the advise and words of encouragement. I have thought about a variety of things regarding the man (what kind of "man" is he? More like monster) who did this to me. (Sorry, I am still in the resentful, "why me?" phase.) If I do decide to sue him, I might feel vindicated and be compensated, yes, (he is actually a professional athlete, so not only does he have money, he has a reputation to uphold), but the only problem is that it would be my word against his. We were both intoxicated, and in cases like mine, it will probably be difficult to prove that it wasn't consentual "drunk sex". Whether or not he deliberately raped me, he can always claim that he misunderstood b/c I never actually said "no". And b/c I was passed out for the most part, I have no details to refute any claim he makes. Besides, I'd really rather not share this experience with anyone, esp my family, friends, and esp a court of strangers. It could go to press too (b/c of his career), which is just too much.
I have thought to simply confront him, threaten to go to press unless he admits what he did to me, and pay for my meds. I'm not looking for major compensation or anything. I don't have medical insurance, so I figure the least he can do for ruining my life, is to pay for medication. But what if he denies my claims and even of having the stds (it looks as though he gave me multiple stds--have yet to be tested for hiv; might've raped my analy too)?! If he denies, than I have no proof. I don't know what to do...
Right now, I'm still struggling physically more than anything. Can't get out of bed, can't sleep... still can't stop crying. Please tell me it gets better??? I don't think I can take this. I don't have money for treatment. I see a lot of alternative remedy claims here, but I just don't know b/c nothing is definitive and everyone reacts so differently. Lysine, coconut oil, zappers (?!), ozone therapy, oxygen...it all sounds so foreign and confusing. I've never had anything more than the flu before!
I'm trying to cope, to recover, but it is so difficult. I don't know what else to say... sorry I'm feeling so sorry for myself and pathetic...Advertisement
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- Re: Can't Stop Crying :( #54973
19 y
4,624
Lugol’s Iodine Free S&H
J.Crow’s® Lugol’s Iodine Solution. Restore lost reserves.
Original Dr. Hulda Clark
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Cleanse the Liver
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This is a reply to # 372,692Honey I don't think you are pathetic to say the least. I will say that after a while physically you will feel better. As far as this jerk goes, I think you should do everything in your power to make him suffer, but that's just me being a vindictive woman. If he's a professional athlete then by all means call him out! Let people know what a loser he is. I'm not real sure about how the whole police things goes but if you state what he has done to you maybe there is a way they can get some kind of court order to get him tested. Do you have previous medical records that state you were healthy before? There has got to be a way, the longer you wait the harder I think it will be to get this SOB! I understand that you may feel ashamed and that telling your friends and family is the last thing you want to do but you might be surprised on how suportive people can be. If anything, call a lawyer and see what they say. Most of them will give a free consultation, so maybe try that and see what exactly your rights are in this situation. I don't think you should let him get away with. Yes, it's true that rape can be a hard thing to prove but just the bad publicity for his sorry a$$ might be a little comforting to you. Maybe threaten him and make him pay for your meds. It sounds like you need to be on something, I hate the fact that you are suffering like this. You definitely need medical treatment. Like I said before, if you need to talk please by all means email me. I'm very sorry this is happening to you, I really am. :-(
- Re: Can't Stop Crying :( #54973
19 y
4,624
- Re: Can't Stop Crying :( #54973
19 y
4,626
- Re: Can't Stop Crying :( #54973
19 y
4,584
Lugol’s Iodine Free S&H
J.Crow’s® Lugol’s Iodine Solution. Restore lost reserves.
Hulda Clark cleanses
Wormwood, Clove, Clarkia, Turmeric, Epsom Salt, Uva Ursi, Goldenr...
This is a reply to # 372,680Hey girl, I just emailed you back, just want to make sure it doesn't go to your junk mail, that happened to me once until I told my email it wasn't junk.
Hope your feeling a tiny bit better :-)- Re: Can't Stop Crying :( bill66
19 y
4,845
This is a reply to # 372,695Sorry to hear of your pain, but lets concentrate on getting better.
First, get some DMSO cream. It can sting a bit at first, but its very effective against herpes and should help tremendously.Do a search on google for a supplier. Never an Outbreak sell it and it does work extremely well.
Second, follow a strict diet.Some foods will make it worse eg chocolate and others eg milk better.
Frequent baths should help the healing process.
The above is what I did when I was first infected , but I rarely get outbreaks now so in the future it may stop altogether. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
If you need anymore advice please email me at Exeter444@hotmail.com. I fully understand your need to keep this private and bearing in mind the success rate for rape convictions is not good ( its about 5% in the UK), you might be better off puting this behind you as psychological stress makes the condition worse , but ultimately only you can decide.
Don't let this get you down and you will recover.
Kind Regards,
Bill.
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- Re: Can't Stop Crying :( mccarty
19 y
4,753
This is a reply to # 372,697I don't mean to sound rude here, either, but the last thing you should be thinking about is the Herpes case at this point. Get on the phone and call the police! Deal with the infection later. You've got proof on top of it.
- Re: Can't Stop Crying :( mccarty
19 y
4,753
- Re: Can't Stop Crying :( bill66
19 y
4,845
- Re: Can't Stop Crying :( #55208
19 y
4,660
This is a reply to # 372,680I am so sorry to hear how you contracted this horrible virus! I felt the same way as you did...a few weeks ago, I could not stop crying. I still have moments of sadness, but I feel that my story may help you feel better. I was given herpies by a boyfriend giving me oral sex when I was about 23. I am 30 now. I lived with this secret for 7 years!!! I am not sexually permiscuious, either. I have never had a one night stand and I have only had sex with men in a relationship. I recently told my boyfriend that I have the virus. I thought it would be important for him to know because we are considering marriage. He seems to be okay with it, meaning that he still loves me and we have many more positive things going on in our relationship for me to wory. He is going to talk to a doctor. Regardless of my situation, I thought it will be helpful for you to know that I told a close family member and a best friend because I was going through so much emotional pain and this was recently. They both still love me and except me for who I am. It has not changed my relationship with either of them. So, you are not alone.
Also, it helps knowing that 1 in 4 people are walking around with the virus weither they know it or not. My boyfriend is 33, I am sure he has been with many women before me...I am sure he has been exposed to the virus in the past. Anyone who you date going forward at our age will be in a simular situation. Don't worry, people love you for who you are! Valtrax will be the best thing for you! You should not have an outbreak...Are you sure you don't have shingles? I didnt' think herpies would be all over your body?
Please know that you will get over the pain emotionally and physically. This may be a life long disease, but it's only a temporary state of mind you are in. Talk to someone close to you...and keep your head up! - Re: Can't Stop Crying :( #32210
19 y
4,623
This is a reply to # 372,680Your stress is making it worse. You really should know the facts before you panic. I understand your emotional pain b/c I contracted HSV-2 from my ex GF who the week before was date raped and thought the bumps were a rash from shaving. But I was born w/HSV-1 (Cancre sores) and my body was already used to the diesease. This is your first outbreak and will be the worse. You will eventually get to the point where you will hardly ever get an outbreak and when you do it is b/c your immune system is weakend at the moment. I look at the virus as a barometer of health. It forces me to workout and eat right daily and take the proper natural supplements to stay healthy. My worst outbreak is about twice a year where 3 or 4 blisters form, quickly pop, and scab over. the scabs last for about 10 days and it's over. No bigs especially considering 1 out of 4 people have the virus and that's just the reported cases. The numbers are more likely 33% of your friends and family have the same virus. So you're not alone. All you can do now is prevent future outbreaks and accept the virus so outbreaks are no big deal. I suggest ordering Propolis and Super Lysine+ and Echineca tea every day..oh and take zinc every day w/a meal. You will be fine after a few outbreaks and won't even care about it anymore. If you do care well then you'l just have more outbreaks b/c stress weakens the immune system and the result is the normally dormaint virus comes to visit. Also, in other good news, on CN las month they tested a new drug on a man w/HIV and he was cured from it. After a few years this drug may be more readily available. So how does this matter for us? Well, HIV and HSV are both envelope virus's and that is why they are 'incurable'. So if we find a cure for HIV then HSV would be right around the corner.Advertisement
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- Re: Can't Stop Crying :( pleiades
19 y
4,551
This is a reply to # 372,680Solowtime, I just sent you an email from a yahoo account. Just want to let you know as it may go into your spam folder. Please let us know how you are doing!
- Re: Can't Stop Crying :( solowtime
19 y
4,660
This is a reply to # 372,680Hello to everyone who took the time to read and/or reply to my original message. First of all, thank you all for the support, advise, and words of encouragement. As for an update, I am doing much better now. Physically, I have recovered from my initial outbreak and I am hoping that the worst is now behind me. (To anyone reading this and going through their first outbreak as I was--it does indeed get better and it is not the end of the world, though it might feel that way.) I have found support through this forum and someone I can talk to. I have also confronted the man who did this to me and am trying to move on. Although I know it will take a long time for me to heal emotionally, I am getting through each day with growing hope. Thanks again to those who cared. Best wishes to everyone going through the struggle!
- Re: Can't Stop Crying :( tigger219
18 y
4,466
This is a reply to # 372,764I am very glad to hear that you ar doing better physically and emotionally. I know how you feel, a friend took advantage of me one night when we were drinking and a few days later I started seeing symptoms. I was too embarassed to go to the doctor even and I only told a freind just recently; the event had happened in May. Telling her made me feel a lot better. And, I have only found this website today. And the so-called "freind" was someone I really trusted, and he was moving across the country to be with his grildfriend. Needless to say I'm glad he's out of the state. I blacked out that night as well, but I clearly remember telling him I wanted to go home when we left the bar. I don't stand up for myslef very well. Before that I had been single for a year and I'm not a "floozie". Recently I have met someone whom I really like and am now trying to figure out the best way to tell him and if I should tell him. I suppose if he rejects me, it's a good way for me to find out if he's worth my time or not, which prevents me from getting hurt in the long run. So, to look at things in a positive light this burden is a good way to eliminate dirt bags from being part of my life. I was a very healthy person to begin with and now I am even more healthy. So, not all bad things can come from this virus; yeah it sucks, but it's just forcing us to make good decisions for ourselves and it's making us that much stronger, what's so bad about that? It's all in how you look at things! Take care and good luck to you!!!Advertisement
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- Re: Can't Stop Crying :( tigger219
18 y
4,466
- Re: Can't Stop Crying :( #54973
19 y
4,910
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