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Re: You can not change other people.
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Published: 5 years ago
This is a reply to # 2,357,064

Re: You can not change other people.

I have a CureZone blog titled, "Coping With Betrayal." I spent a long, long time in some very bad spaces because of the choices that I made, and I wrote about those issues, openly and honestly.

What you are wanting to do here is to RESCUE and SAVE and CHANGE and be the HERO. Those are all wonderful sentiments and desires, but her issues are not of your doing - she has made her own choices, as an adult, to either stand up, be a mother to her children, and do the best that she can, OR to play the role of "Victim." She has chosen the latter, and she does it without blinking because she is "one of those people" that doesn't seem to care about anyone, including her children - everyone around her (including her children) are there to fulfill whatever HER needs might be, even if it's to point at them and say that she has sacrificed for those people.

You have choices, here. You really do. You can continue to feed her disorder and travel with her down the toilette of Life, or you can make the hard and painful choices to save yourself, get involved in some counseling to HEAL yourself, so that you don't choose to live in this kind of situation.

Did you adopt these children? Are you legally bound to them? How long have you been involved with this woman? If her family buys into her disorders, then she will never, ever, EVER stop her behaviors because she is wholly and completely enabled.

Parable: A rattle snake wanted to cross a raging river, but it knew that it would drown in the attempt. So, it spied a hiker and begged the hiker to carry it across the river so that it could get to better territory. The hiker said, "But, you'll only bite me if I do that." The rattlesnake said, "I promise that I wont' do that - I just want to get across the river."

Finally, the hiker relented, picked up the rattlesnake, and made his way across the raging river.

When he reached the riverbank and set the rattlesnake down, the snake coiled and bit his ankle. The hiker cried out, "But, you PROMISED you wouldn't bite me! WHY did you do it after you promised you wouldn't??"

The rattlesnake replied, "I am what I am, and that's what my species does."

Moral of the story? We cannot wish something to be anything other than what it truly is. This woman is POISON. She is dangerous, she is manipulative, she is risky, and she is going to take you and her children right down the tubes with her. If you remain with this woman, then it becomes your CHOICE, rather than a debacle. Not all answers or options in this lifetime are pleasant or agreeable. Read my blog. I had to make some very painful choices in order to save myself and my son.

So.........from this point forward, you are responsible for whatever this woman continues to do to you because she has made what she is very clear. You do have options, but they are yours, alone. And, using her children as an excuse to remain with her doesn't fly - it isn't sensible and you do not have the power to "save" anyone, other than yourself.

Brightest blessings to you

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