Re: where do i start?
If you read back what you have written, what you are looking at is a complete life change. That's what you need.
It's not just about doing this cleanse or that, or which food ... just read your life. Everything needs to be changed to give you a healthy loving life.
Everything everything.
Taking "meds" for years is very bad for your body.
So, where to start. With the cleanses start with the colon, so you can clear the out pipe. If you do a liver cleanse and so pathogens are released they can get stuck in the colon, so clear the colon first. But doing all these cleanses is a long term thing, it's not a one time thing.
And step by step there are things to learn. Yes do an enema. And if it doesn't work, no problem. Just do it again tomorrow. Soon you will "get it". If you want to cleanse you have to learn how to cleanse your pipe, otherwise when you detox your stomach / gallbladder whatever ... all the junk can get stuck in your colon. So learning how to cleanse it is a great start.
As for the food, you say it's organic. But organic what ? Organic doughnuts ?!!!
When you talk of your other issues ... these are not to do with your food, they are to do with your mental health your emotional health and so on. With your whole life.
So, you have to add something to help with all those things. That could mean spending more time with friends or finding friends who are more positive. It could mean going regularly to a dance class.
Personally I think it is very good to do something regularly; yoga perhaps, or a regular church group, or language exchange ... something. To change your life you need help and support.
In terms of your food etc... why don't you just aim to have a perfect diet and perfect health. Just begin tomorrow, and bit by bit change everything. Eat simple clean healthy sun-food.
And step by step change everything.
It's not a question of finding out what is wrong ... many things are obviously wrong.
It's faster to start doing everything right.
And get off the pills as soon as possible. Aim to be super healthy inside and out ... one day. You can do it.
Also in your relationships with people, with family and loved ones. Heal those things. Love them, love yourself more.