Re: Breathing and muscle-memory

Wow! Thank you for that!

I am really on the fence on what to do. The psychiatrist didn't really know what to do with me so she prescribed something to help calm the anxiety. I had hoped it would take the edge off while I get my stressors under control.

Since you first wrote me, I am incorporating mediation every night. I am doing both focusing on breathing AND positive mantra as a way to rewire my brain.

I have also enlisted a therapist. I had one session last week...we just touched upon how feeling unwell has impacted my life and created more stress.

Do you believe that this could be a hereditary component. I remember when my mother was 44 she started to have severe anxiety and panic attacks. She was very sensitive to stress including loud noises and strong smells. I could never wear perfume around her and even the radio on a low volume sounded blaring to her. Plus she lived on very little sleep. She could literally get 3 hours of sleep and still be completely functional the next day (like me). She also suffered Arthritis since her early 30's and had been on and off steroids to treat her condition.

I liked to think that my mother was unique. That our situations were different b/c her upbringing and stressors were much greater (growing up to a single mother during the war, then coming here as an immigrant, struggles with money, etc). She is a worry wart and has a very anxious personality. Then the added medication for her Arthritis had ruined her adrenals. So I liked to think that her situation was her own and that what I am going through is completely different. (My mental stressors were brought to the surface by overtraining and underrating).

She is now 78 and is still on Paxil and Xanax and while they help manage her symptoms, they haven't cured her. The dosage has just increased.

I resolved to "fix this" and in a way find the cure or diagnosis to what has been ailing her and thus also figure out how to fix or cure me. The problem is that so many doctors have pointed out that since my mother had anxiety that it must be genetic and that's why I feel defeated in resigning that I may need a pill to live with it and that, now in my 40's, this is my new normal.

Already the connective tissue in my knees are ruined and I feel if I don't get a handle on my anxiety/adrenal issues quickly I will end up with debilitating osteoarthritis just like my mom. That's why the psych pill (if it actually works) sounds like an appealing option.

Any words of encouragement, would be greatly appreciated.





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