California is no longer the paradise you're thinking it is, but if you're ever headed this way, I'm game...I'll meet you for a few laughs. Bring your grandson with you, he must be a pretty big boy by now.
In the meantime, don't give up on your own south of the border. There are plenty of fine spots in Costa Brava and Menorca that haven't seen any Brittish Pubs, much less lager louts. If you're not easily put off by the clothing optional ambience as most of us Americans are, then you'll have a great time.