I am working on one of those Star Trek transporters. So far having some problems. I reappear at unintended locations and time periods.
The last being at the last supper. I did find out first hand though that Jesus was actually named Ishmal and they ate couscous. Ishmal had a girlfriend who was pregnant. To save face she drank some herbal concoction to abort the fetus. It was okay though because Ishmal sanctioned it. If anyone else tried it though they would be condemned to death.
I didn't go over too well because I challenged Ishmal to a water walking contest. I remained dry but poor Ishmal almost drowned. I beamed out right after because his crew was not impressed.