Re: Why is being nasty instead of being nice pay off

You're dealing with something that I've had to deal with in my life for a long time and that is the programming from parents/church to "be nice."  It took me ages to learn that nobody's nice.  We are spirit dwelling in an animal and what we are learning to do is to listen to our animal body and respond to it as spirit. 

What would happen to me is that by trying to be nice and please others I was not pleasing myself and I was also burying my emotions (which leads to depression).  My emotions would generally erupt all at once on one minor thing in the form of anger and rage.  Then I'd get over it, bury the junk again, until the next eruption.  In the meantime, I wouldn't feel any emotions.  What I've learned to do is to allow my anger but to not throw it out at others while doing so.  Being angry within your own reality is a tremendous healing.  It's one way to allow yourself to be human while maintaining your sanity.  By experiencing your anger you can then experience love, joy, hate, and all the rest of the emotions that all of us have.  Hate is generally buried by fear, but we have to experience that too - and then let it go instead of operating off of it.

Yes, it is a continuing process to learn to experience and control all of my emotions.  In the end you have to be comfortable with and please yourself and if you lose friends in the process, so be it, they weren't really friends to begin with.  I've lost friends due to my life changes but I've gained some valuable friends too who are there for me when I need them.

Many times taking the path to respecting and honoring one's self can be a difficult road but in the end - you feel much better about yourself and the world around you.