Hi Gina, I don't think your in the least bit crazy, just learning, and looking at new concepts, this is what I'm doing as well.
I came to many of the anomolies in belief systems through the study of physics and mathematics, both diciplines allow for infinite potential, and the concept of universal energy. This in turn leads to more questions and more reflection.
I have watched the videos you posted and found them very interesting, I choose not to take on anothers belief system though.