Re: don't wanna have sex at all, affecting my marriage

It sounds like you may have a few things going on that could be the cause of your problem:
1) I agree with those who are suggesting you could be having a hormonal problem. You've gotten some good advice on how to handle it without resorting to prescription drugs. However, if after trying natural remedies and finding no relief, then talk to your doctor. Before talking to your doctor, if I were you, I would do some googling to try and figure it out yourself. In my experience, I've found that the way to get doctors to listen to you is to say something like "I think I have______ because I'm having the following symptoms..."

2) You could be depressed. Your husband lost his job and you are looking to get back into the work force. All of that makes for some very stressful times. Along those lines, I think the comment another poster made "Nothing turns a woman on like a good provider" was uncalled for. Please ignore that.

If you are indeed depressed, it could be situational due to present circumstances. Or it could be tied into a hormonal imbalance. Again, only you can decide if that's going on. If it is situational depression, it should lift as things improve in your lives. If it is hormonal or a clinical depression, then you really need to get some help for that because it won't go away on its own.

3) Do you still love your husband? The reason I ask is that you don't want him touching you. I'm sure at one time you didn't feel that way because you did marry him. You need to do some soul-searching to see if your feelings for him have changed for the worse. If so, you also need to be aware of just what caused this to happen. Are you harboring any anger toward him for any reason? If you still love him, the negative feelings of being touched could also be tied into Depression or hormonal imbalance.

4) You mentioned that your husband was angry when you turned him down and isn't speaking to you. Is that his typical reaction to this? Does he get angry if you are physically sick and thus not up to having sex? Or is he understanding under those circumstances---even tending to you when you are sick? If he is understanding when you're physically sick, then you need to explain to him that something is going on with you right now and you are trying to figure it all out. A hormonal imbalance and/or Depression are both illnesses of sorts. Let him know all that.

Along those lines the remark another poster made "If I was that man i'd [sic] definitely find a friend until she worked on those issues." was uncalled for. We marry for better or worse, in sickness and health, for richer or for poorer. All relationships ebb and flow and have their good days and not so good days. If you both are at an impasse when it comes to how to handle things, then consider some marriage counseling. Sometimes it only takes a few sessions to resolve issues---especially if those issues are fleeting (job loss, illness).

I wish you good luck in getting to the root of your problems! Tweet