LMAO!! I have similar story. Not me, a friend. He works on Wall St and was taking LIRR train into Manhattan. He was out drinking all night and was a mess. Well he went to pass some gas and it was not quite in gaseous form. Now here he is on LIRR, a packed train. He gets to Penn Station and tries to take a sort of shower in the public restroom. Then went and bought another suit.