Re: Is it human nature to be with the same person for so long?

I'm not sure you got the point...the process of using, then "putting it back on the shelf" is objectifying women; using when needed, but otherwise not a real part of their lives. It seems he treats you the same way, attentive for sex only, then back to HIS life.

Since you seem open, it's extremely disconcerting that he wouldn't accept and embrace your traumatized daughter as his own when marrying you, especially under her woeful circumstances. That should have been your first red flag; what kind of adult is threatened by a child, particularly the child of his beloved? He comes across as the cliche of the "evil" stepfather, instead of a loving parent. (No surprise that he seems to express only disgust with his own child for not following in Daddy's footsteps).

I'm glad daughter is getting help; imagine her position...there is no one in this world who has HER best interests at heart. She can't fully trust her own mother, knowing Mom will put her own well-being above her traumatized daughter's. We all know women who put themselves first by marrying men who mistreat their children...I hope you didn't know this about him when you married. I don't know how one could have sex with someone, knowing how he's childishly and deliberately contributed to your daughter's misery. I don't know how you can say he's got a good heart when he mistreats you and your children, while attempting to seduce your sister (and God knows who else)! My heart goes out to your daughter.

Also, all the "I love you"'s in the world doesn't make it so. Talk is cheap; a person shows who they REALLY are by their actions. So far, we've heard nothing about any loving actions. I have to conclude that you are living in the past when you say you know he loves you "dearly". I don't see that at all. He may NEED you. But it's not the same thing.

If I were you, I'd get counselling for myself to find out why the attraction to suicidal and/or self-absorbed sex addicts who can't love. Why you would put yourself and - most importantly - your CHILD through this. I think that's the first step for you, rather than focusing on what's wrong with him and monitoring his p 0 r n addiction. It might give you the strength you need.