Re: Is it human nature to be with the same person for so long?

I knew farming was a passion that he would one day pursue. My vision was 20 years from now as a hobby. He treated my daughter delightfully. They played, laughed seemed to “respect one another.” Things changed, almost like the flip of a switch. He became very negative about everything and was on my daughter about such silly stuff. His family and mine noticed it. I would get comments, “Why is he so rough on her?” Now, he’s got the “unhappy, easily irritated, bump on a log” kind of a guy reputation. He gets frustrated easily at my son and daughter. My son asked me last week why Daddy has to yell at him and his friends every time he has someone over. He has zero patience, especially for children.

My husband knows very well that I’m an adventurous, active woman. When he and I met, ironically we were both scheduled to skydive within 2 weeks from one another. He was an outgoing radio personality and planned to broadcast live from 10,000 feet in the air. And he did!! 11 years later and his viewpoint is he has no need for friends, he does not like being around people. He does not attend friends’ weddings, family reunions, went to only one of my daughters basketball games during the whole season. He says the way I enjoy life scares him. He’s afraid he will not be enough for me. We absolutely have separate interests. I think that is necessary and healthy. The problem is he shows no signs of enjoyment if/when the rare moment occurs that we do something as a family. He simply doesn’t enjoy outings, activities and people. My kids rarely have anyone over either, they go to their friends because my husband has a very low tolerance for other people, especially kids. It was not that way in the beginning. I want an open door for my kids' friends. I want to be the house they end up at when they need a shoulder. They know me and love me, but rarely visit.

The contractor – you are absolutely correct. I must do it.

Thank you so much. This is really helpful to me! More than I ever imagined.