well thank you all for the insightful, yes all are correct about the situation, i do have this Depression problem but its just so hard to over come everything and find the pretty flower amongst all the nasty weeds lol, i do know its hard for me to recognize his good over my clouded thinking of Depression and anger, but i feel that my intentions are like all good parent who wants the other important person to be as involved in the kids life as much even though their job is elsewhere but its just so hard, but i will try my best for my kids/him and the happiness of the family. thanks all alot.