energy

not sure why but i thought you were that annoying anti-gay health risk sodomizer
person ;'numbers' lol...

anyways,an ex-girlfriend once said to me that one of the most appealing qualities about me was that i had the ability express my emotions in a way that most people try to contain,weither it was a time of extreme vulnerability or a time of great energy,i have a way of flowing instead of pushing against it or trying to contain it..she said it's both captivating and frightening at time because for those very intense moments,it's like they are stepping into my reality/energy and they get totally consumed by it.For most people,'regular' people,moods are moods and it's just become a part of life or it's just straight and narrow for alot - kinda just like,okay i feel this way,it's gone and i am 'normal' again,with me it's a constant flow of extreme energy bouncing from one polarity to the next.I notice i tend to effect emotional people the most being that they communicate through the world through their feelings,and since mine are so off the wall..when they encounter me it's either an interesting experience or a frightening one lol.

You should see the days when i am really horny at work lol..it's like i have access
to a magic button inside of everyone and i go around triggering it even without being
aware of it happening rofl.
(:

I am very much have and always been a 'thinker',i live in my mind..this is the first time in my life outside of bodybuilding,have i encountered so much of my emotions getting involved.I am so so careless with my emotions,but then again i don't think
most girls mind,being that woman are emotional creatures by nature,maybe me being
on the same emotional wavelengths as them (not sappy or anything lol) has a very strong appeal on them i had no idea about before..there is something going on in my
psyche concerning all of this but i am not sure what is is exactly,it's like its right below the surface but so plainly obvious,i am looking for some sort of deep detailed explanation but in reality it might be so simple i am missing it,looking for the big picture but failing to see it right so in front of me.

it's kinda like being able to do something really well but not sure of as to what
the actions are exactly but the results are still coming in sort of deal..it's frustrating because i want to know what works so i can improve upon it instead of
just being thankful when it happens in my favor (attraction/interest)because it seems
like the more i try ,the less actually happens and when i simply pay no mind- i get
interest..go figure.