The message is lost

I know it is hard to understand. It's not about "naming" a guilty party. I was a victim, pure and simple. And truthfully, I was not at fault...or should I say, my fault was not leaving sooner.

There are some basic misconceptions about what it is like to be a victim of abuse. Too often people blame the victim as much, or more than the victimizer.

Lately I've seen posts aimed at exactly that message. People telling me to forgive, or forget. To make some ridiculous hand gestures to get over it. It's the sense of betrayal that has led me here to help others. If I just melted into the woodwork, now I wouldn't be the strong woman I am that still has the fortitude to get these women out of the house and away from those that are harming her...now would I?

I know it's very hard for those that have never been in this position to understand the sheer fear, the sense of loss, the anguish and hurt to be abused by someone you trusted and loved. It's like mourning with pain.

I appreciate your post. We all have our past issues that can be quite painful. I do not diminish your pain. But I want to be very clear, when people on this forum post to a person that is in the real and present pain of one of these abusers our only action is to come on strong. It's the way it is, it's from counseling women in this position, it's from surviving our own nightmare. It's a matter of giving back.

Does that make sense?

Molly


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