Re: Feeling sad

Molly,
I have read your story and found it sad. It wakes up some thinking in my mind to do some comparison to my story.
I start by saying that naming a guilty party doesn’t take us anywhere and usually there is some fault in both sides.
Simple reason for that would be that in the beginning both starts on level standing; they love each other. At least they should.
The relationship starts to crumble if inequality hops in. Some cases the relationship is established for wrong reasons, like mine.
Once either partner finds that the counterpart doesn’t measure up to expectations, problems looms. At that stage there is no set formula, how to deal with it.
We are all different individuals. I wish there was a simple rules to solve disagreements.
I discovered that I didn’t get married for pure love.
For her it was to replace a husband (hers died).
For me, I had to establish a family quickly, as I was getting on.
As her children grew up and left, we had no love left, enough to continue our marriage.
Her role as a grandmother grew stronger.
I had a desire to do some travelling and then settle down to grow old happily.
Arguments gradually got worse and it was dangerously close to get physical.
In one occasion she asked me should she move out.
She got the answer, what she was looking for: “I don’t care any more”, I said.

Her idea must have been that I will run after her and start begging her to come back.
I didn’t!
Then unthinkable happened half a year later!
I suffered a stroke and nearly………, well it didn’t happen, as I had a quick thinking.
The end result; my life is over as I have no future.
All I have is a FORMULA, how I would do it, if only I had it!
LIFE, that is.
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