Hey MB! You know the sad part...I didn't leave him! He left me.

But there was a point 11 months after I moved out (and this happens often with abusers) he wanted to see me. A mutual friend set up dinner for the three of us, so it felt safe. I didn't know he had missed me.

So we started out the evening drinking shots of tequila....I know, dumb. In my anxiety about the whole thing, I think I drank too much. He was incredibly charming (unfortunately he was an exceptionally handsome man...seriously he looked exactly like a young David Crosby, only more virile as he was a body builder). It was obvious...he was giving me major signals. All this time I hadn't been with any man...didn't want to be.

We went off to a Mexican restaurant. A deep restaurant with a big window on the front looking out into the street. Well I felt a bit sick when the smells hit me. So I went back to the ladies room, and walking back...well it was like I was on a ship in a rocky sea. They had ordered crab enchiladas....urp.

When they brought them I felt like I would barf....so I got up, barely maneuvering the chairs, and out the front door. Out in front, breathing in the air...here he comes with that lovely dovey look. Arms open, telling me how wonderful I look, how much he loved and missed me. Coming to comfort me....

It was at that moment that I projectile vomited all over him. It was a direct hit, and he was less than a foot from me. I couldn't have aimed better...I first hit his crotch. The second was a direct hit to his heart.

His comment?..."I take it that's a NO?" I have to give it to the man, he was pretty funny.

The drive home was messy and smelly. Our friend was sitting as far from us as possible (and guess what? I found out she had been sleeping with him...go figure!!)

So, if I ever see him again? I might have to stick my finger down my throat so he really gets the point!!

Narcissists never feel sorry. I wish, but it ain't gonna happen.

Thanks for the reply.

Molly

Awesome Machine,

I never heard a story like yours (maybe on "Twilight Zone") and probably never will (at least I'd like to think so).

Take care in becoming obsessed with your power over them. I'm not saying that it is not justified, but your ENJOYMENT of it could turn you into a madman.

The best thing would be to modify your will so that it completely excludes any involvement of them in your's or your children's lives FOREVER (fully documenting the situation with chemical assessment of the cookies so that future court battles would not overturn your modified will, a "NO CONTEST" will, otherwise the mother will continue to work on the children unless the wife and mother in law are in jail for 25 years). As long as the wife and mother in law discover (ONLY AFTER everything is FINISHED/"iron clad", but once you stop being their target, the children will become their target) that this has been done, they will have no more incentive for the rest of your life to run you down. Make copies of the orders of protection and get a lawyer (and a safe box in case of the lawyer's collaboration, your wife may have certain legal rights to interfere with the lawyer.client relationship, don't know) at a bank to keep the full details of this whole situation. EMBED the details of all of this in your will so that your children are protected even if your wife and mother in law run you down for spite (at this point, we're no longer in the world of logic). Include declarations of this and ensure accountability at the investment companies where your wealth is located.

There is always the chance that instead of running you down, they will change their efforts and simply have you declared mentally incompetent (conservatorship, difficult if you have a good job and character references that are documented, do you have any notariety?...become socially VISIBLE) and they will ask the court to grant them your powers of attorney. Talk to a lawyer to arrange protections for yourself AND your children (right now, you have power over the wife and mother in law ONLY as long as you are alive).

Save ALL documents (including your post, DATES and URL make it officially verifiable) that show awareness of the situation are very important in court poison control reports, hospital reports and forgeries, etc.).

Restrict access to your your computer, financial records and accounts (right now, your wife has full access legally AND in your house), check your credit often (some states allow a full lockdown, but you yourself can't open a credit account while it's in place, there are 3 credit bureaus that don't all share accurate and valid info about you), use secret cameras and tape recorders around the house (they're not just trying to kill you, they are EVIL PEOPLE) and consider finding a way to put them both in jail (for the sake of your children). Take ID theft seriously.
Find out where your name is being used (they want money for EXTENSIVE searches, but there's alot you can get for nothing also....public info law).



http://pipl.com/




http://www.infospace.com/




http://www.zabasearch.com/search_engines.php?


Go to IDTHEFT.org for more info about monitoring your credit at all three credit bureaus. Check the Post Office for PO boxes at your address, false names, etc.
Don't take this situation for granted.

On this forum, we have all gone through alot, but this is situation is the most insane that I've ever heard.

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You have been through alot, but I don't understand how or why you assumed responsibility for what THEY did.

WHY you did this is one thing, do you believe that you deserve a penalty for something else that you've done INTENTIONALLY (otherwise MISTAKES are no sin against God) in your life (if so, then you are completely remorseful and repentant), in other words, you have already been given forgiveness by God because you have repented), but also, Jesus is the judge, NOT YOU.

AND, if it is your desire to take away THEIR responsibility for what THEY have done, you are not only robbing them of their humanity, you are limiting "proverbial justice" (denying justice it's due). Do not take away THEIR responsibility for what has been done (the "sin eater" was an old LEGEND/make believe story, it is not true).

Wow, that was dramatic! You rarely hear of abused men, even though I suspect there are many of them. The sad thing is hearing of all the women that get murdered.

Thank you so much for posting, that was an awesome story. I'm glad you're OK.

Always look in both directions before crossing the street (I'm sure you do!).

Molly

"A chaste woman would never attempt murder."

Chastity was invented by man as a means of control of the masses. Just because a person is practicing chastity does not preclude them to a closeness to God that the "unchaste" aren't privileged to. I have known more people than not who claimed to be "Good Christians" or "Good Muslims" or "Good Buddhists" or "Good (fill in the blank)" to be some of the most abusive, narcissistic, evil, self-serving, and dangerous human beings I've ever met. There isn't a religion on Earth that hasn't been warped, twisted, and manipulated BY human beings to be used as a method of control OVER human beings. History is full of religious perversions since mankind first scratched sacred images into cave walls, it has always been about fear and control: i.e., I have the direct link to our current god; you may sit at my feet and learn the instructions and rules in order to gain approval from that god, even if it means a human sacrifice each week.

I am also curious as to why you would enable murderous human beings in their quest to inflict harm by willingly accepting the blame for THEIR actions - this is not what Jesus taught, what God has commanded, or what typical religious doctrines teach. And, if you have documented evidence, why haven't criminal charges been filed by the District Attorney? In all 50 States, such actions are legally termed, "Attempted Murder" and carry substantial consequences. Civil Law is a completely different set of legal rules, but your case should be on the docket in a criminal court, I should think.

Awesomemachine, it is very sad that you suffered such a horrible experience and I hope that your path to healing will bring peace, light, and comfort to your soul and JUSTICE to the perpetrators.

I know it is hard to understand. It's not about "naming" a guilty party. I was a victim, pure and simple. And truthfully, I was not at fault...or should I say, my fault was not leaving sooner.

There are some basic misconceptions about what it is like to be a victim of abuse. Too often people blame the victim as much, or more than the victimizer.

Lately I've seen posts aimed at exactly that message. People telling me to forgive, or forget. To make some ridiculous hand gestures to get over it. It's the sense of betrayal that has led me here to help others. If I just melted into the woodwork, now I wouldn't be the strong woman I am that still has the fortitude to get these women out of the house and away from those that are harming her...now would I?

I know it's very hard for those that have never been in this position to understand the sheer fear, the sense of loss, the anguish and hurt to be abused by someone you trusted and loved. It's like mourning with pain.

I appreciate your post. We all have our past issues that can be quite painful. I do not diminish your pain. But I want to be very clear, when people on this forum post to a person that is in the real and present pain of one of these abusers our only action is to come on strong. It's the way it is, it's from counseling women in this position, it's from surviving our own nightmare. It's a matter of giving back.

Does that make sense?

Molly