Re: what? bipolar?

trust me..the things I write about online here on curezone is only like..umm..
10% of whats really going on and about..25% of how I REALLY am..you don't know my bad side,no one does.

I have decided to just give it less and less of my mental energy,all this relationship stuff or whatever it is.I figure,in my present state I would only hurt and frustrate alot of girls..being ever so moody,temperamental and an array of negative traits and qualities..the funny thing is,alot of this stuff should be repelling but the opposite happens alot of the time and it attracts instead..go figure lol.

As much as I want to be this big swinging dick..I can't help but feel guilty for it alot of the time.It's like I have this stupid voice in my head that says..
'don't break her heart,she is such a good girl..' and just let them pass by and let some 'mice guy' take care of her,because all I would do is hurt them right now.
It's like I want to be this good generous caring person that cares or gives a rats
ass..but I don't,quite honestly I just get lonely and just want some physical company..
then later on it's like -bah- you get nothing but the 'mad face' lol.


I am pretty sure once the smoke clears and I am no longer so angry about so many things I can finally let go and everything will be okay..I will meet someone one day,just not today or anytime soon..I figure,it's better off to be alone then hurting a bunch of people along the way because I AM the one screwed up..