this may be off topic, but relevant.

but if you know your true nature, rygar...

(I'm reading from the Relationship forum)

I know very little about Bipolar. My sister has it, but she was always a very nasty, evil, and STUPID person (she always/continuously chose to play dumb in order to "get over" on everyone) and her brain chemistry probably adjusted itself to actually BE Bipolar.

In reading your posts, rygar, you are very much in control of your faculties. There is NO possible way that you could be afflicted with any INVOLUNTARY behavior, you have the afflictions/concerns of a very sane human being. I know I'm offending the laws of the medical status quo of the universe when I say this, but you are too articulate and expressive of feelings and even abstract concepts that I would consider myself criminally neglectful to go along with your belief that you have "Bipolar" or ANY involuntary behavior. Every post you've written shows how STRONG-WILLED you are. The people you meet (in bars or where ever) want a person who can be manipulated, and they just can't "hack" being with a strong-willed person (but you've decided to believe YOU are the one with problem!!).

All of medical science/research has a twofold underlying bias...
1) how can we exploit society for continued profit?
2) and maintain intellectual status?

They INVENT diseases (and LIFELONG ones at that) that require expensive "therapy" and costly "medication".

A strong willed person cannot have the kinds of problems you speak of. The sooner you realize this and accept yourself, the only problem you'll have is to pay your rent.