Re: Raped a decade ago

Your response IS harsh, though you do make some valid points. Rape, particularly in cases of a man enduring sexual assault by another man, is something that a person just can't simply "get over" even after a decade. The degradation of rape cannot ever be understated, as this gentleman's story witnesses. Nearly all victims of rape experience post traumatic stress syndrome which is manifested through thought and deed. Get over it? Have you no compassion or empathy?

I would suggest to the original poster that he seek group support and individual counseling. Furthermore I would gently suggest that he cease and desist all attempts to engage in sexually intimate relationships until he has fully processed his ordeal. The fact that he has taken the step to post his ordeal and subsequent mistakes and related behaviors demonstrates his willingness to do something to change the ways that he is choosing to live his life. I would urge the original poster to seek counseling and group support YESTERDAY. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You are not the first victim of rape, nor will you be the last. There are lessons to be learned through your personal healing that will teach you HOW to move on with dignity and how to BE a father to the children that you have produced so that they will make wise, well reasoned choices for themselves.

As for myself, I was raped by my spouse in manners that the original poster probably was by his attacker. I never filed charges and I cannot change that fact. Nor, can I change the fact that I was raped by my own husband. What I COULD change was my views on life, my choices of expression, and my choices of behavior that might be associated with all of my experiences including my former marital relationship.