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They are coming back....
Onamonapia...did I spell that right?
Date: 10/30/2005 2:03:21 PM ( 19 y ) ... viewed 1959 times Yep, the fats starting to show....I wouldn't have noticed but I took my sweater off....and the man boobs are starting to show nicely again.
Have I had enough of this BS yet? Did the chinese food buffet help? What are you doing to yourself, man!?!? I feel disgusted with myself and I feel disgusting. But that doesn't seem to matter when I want to eat. I'm fighting a battle that I force myself to lose, every time!
And amidst all my health consciousness, my mercury amalgams are being replaced tomorrow....and then what? Lets hurry up and get these poisons out of my body! Now lets shuffle them back in! Is it going to take another Master Cleanse to get back on track? Or can I commit myself to a juice fast? And how do I surrender to trying to control these emotions other than 'just do it'?
I have dinner plans tonight, spagettie with some friends.....then what? Can avoid the sweets? Can I become one with the emotions, the pain, the lonliness, the fears, the anxieties? This past week has indicated NO. And of course, I am doing all of this alone.......I should know better.....I need help from other people who know what I am going through.....people who know how to abstain from compulsive over-eating, and binging on sweets....
We'll see>....
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