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I just had the most frightening experience out today
I went out and thought I smelled up the whole place everywhere I went.
Date: 4/19/2014 3:54:47 PM ( 10 y ) ... viewed 1163 times I went out today. We went to the mall. It was so crowded. I was nervous from the time I stepped into the mall. There were people everywhere. I couldn't get away from them. The whole time I was thinking do I smell? Will they smell me? Are they smelling me? I was waiting for someone to do something to make me think I stink.
We went and got my nieces eyebrows threaded. As I was waiting for her people were passing by very close to me. That calmed me down a little because they weren't reacting. So we went on to a few stores and I felt better because people were passing by close to me and nothing happened.
Then we went into lens crafters to make an apt for my mom. Now it's a small store and there were little kids in there. I tried to hold my composure. I thought they aren't doing or saying anything so stop worrying. But I couldn't. Finally they left and it was just my mom niece me and the lady behind the register. I thought she's going to do something to make me think I smell I know it. But she didn't. Finally we left.
Then we went to the food court to get some food. I was the most nervous then. It was so crowded and the lines were long. My niece ordered my food and paid for me. I was to afraid to do it myself. I got my food and sat down. The thing is where we sat was high traffic. There were people sitting at every side of us. And people walking by to get from point a to point b. I was so nervous. But once again not a thing happened.
The whole time I was wondering when something was going to happen. I thought at any minute someone was going to make a comment about the smell, cover their nose, or at least cough but nothing happened. It didn't ease my mind though and I had to leave. I told my mom to give me her keys and I would wait for her in the car. She gave them to me and I left. It was the most stressful experience I've had going out in a long time.
I know it's irrational. I know there's nothing wrong with me. I mean I went out for 6 months straight and nothing happened to me. But it's still hard. The wondering, stressing, worrying. It's almost too much to take. I just want this delusion over with so I can live my life again.
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